Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to all the
Dads out there - that deserve it - I felt this deserved a repost. There is so much of a
huge difference between a *Dad* and a *Father*. So for my son's father -
this one's for you... And anyone in MA that sees a trooper working -
not sure if he's working - he's on the Turnpike these days - not sure if
he's in the tunnels or on the bikes - but I do know that he's a detail
whore, so chances are he'll be out there.... if his nametag says
something that rhymes with "Day" but starts with an F? That'd be him -
you wish him a Happy Father's Day from his son that he "wants to make
clear he wants nothing to do with"......
**My
2013 Addition to this - the boy saw one of his sisters just after
Christmas - after she texted me to ask if he was her brother. Great way
for an almost 18 year old to find out, huh? But because of her age, I
felt it appropriate to answer with the truth - something she hadn't
gotten from either of her parents.
**My 2015 addition? He's out of work with an injured knee, I think.. He (or Jeanne the crazy one) have made sure that nobody on his side of the family will have anything to do with him (including the above-mentioned sister). It is what it is. I'm really on the fence these days. Yes, he's a POS. But also without him I wouldn't have my son. And while, yes, he is a POS - 20 years ago I chose to get into a relationship with him. Me = young, naive, not looking for anything serious. Him = an opportunist that lied lied lied and I believed it all. I still poke. I probably, in some capacity, always will. I think that it's a shame that so many people choose to miss out on such a great kid (actually, young man now). Their loss. Shame on them. But now that he's 18? Not my circus, not my monkeys. Maybe this will be the last time you see this post.. Then again, maybe not. LOL I think this year, I may actually share this with him as well. And include the comment below from my (brilliant) friend Tricia....
**also edited to add that he and Jeanne? Tell people they got together in 2005. Um, really? Cuz it was 2003 when they started cheating on their respective spouses again. Funny how that seems to have been left out....
Oy. Father's Day. This one is a toughie for me, always has been.
While I wish my father a wonderful father's day - it's a tough one on my son (or for me, not so much him).
We
were walking by cards last week in Walmart, and he started laughing
when he saw one that said "hey Dad, thanks for everything".. he asked if
that would be appropriate to send to
his Dad - with a sarcastic twist (wow, he really
is my kid LOL). And he always refers to him as "my Dad".. I always refer to him as "your father". Big difference there.
He
was around for the first year. Kind of. When Josh had surgery at 13
weeks, he showed up in the hospital on his way to work. After the
surgery was over, said and done. I was the one that was there at 5:30
am to hand him over to the anesthesiologist, not knowing if I'd ever see
him again. Thank God my stepmother came with me for support, otherwise
I'd have been on my own. We'd meet every once in a while and take a
walk, or he would use wanting to see him as an excuse to see me. Guess I
hadn't learned yet. Josh was just starting to say "DaDa" when he saw
him when the shit hit the fan. On his first birthday, Kevin stopped in
(of course on his way to work) and spent 10 minutes with him. I'd sat
around all day, waiting for him to come and spend time with his child. I
postponed a birthday party so he could see him. Because, really, what
kind of person would I be if I didn't do everything I could to make sure
that my son knew his father? I snapped. I told him that he was more
than welcome to see his child any time he wanted - but he had to be
consistent and not sneak around to do it. Not asking much, right? I
decided that what had been good enough for me was definitely
not
good enough for my son. He never made an effort to see him again. We'd
run into each other and Josh would say hello to the nice policeman, but
I wouldn't tell him that was "Dad". He didn't deserve it at that
point. And because we lived near each other, one question I brought up
was "what happens if we run into each other in the store and he sees
you? Calls you Dad? what are you going to do - run away"... His
response "of course not".. Thank goodness it never happened, because I
think that's what he would have done.
When I found
out I was pregnant, I gave him the option of walking away - said "now is
your chance to leave, if you want nothing to do with this baby - walk
away now, no strings attached". His response "what do you think I am,
an asshole"? Um. YES? But at that point I was still in love, trying to
regain my dignity and self-respect and getting pregnant by a married
man wasn't where I wanted my life to go. Oh, hadn't heard that story? I
thought I'd posted about it before, but can't find it to link to it.
Suffice it to say it wasn't one of the smartest decisions in my life.
Anyway, I digress... He chose not to walk away. And then got mad at me
when I took him to court for child support. Really? Really? Anyway
- we came to a truce of sorts, and would run into each other and say
hello, and he'd spend a couple of minutes with Josh and then be all sad
because he wasn't a part of his life. Whatever - your choice, dude.
He
had another child with another girlfriend (Jeanne) a couple of years
before me. She and I became great friends and our kids knew each other
(but not that they were siblings). That ended when I caught her
sleeping with Kevin again - him cheating on his wife (yet again) and her
cheating on her husband. Her daughter didn't know him as her father,
thought that Jeanne's husband was her father. There's more to the
story, but I'm trying to make this short and sweet. Right? LOL
Josh
wrote him a letter when he was 7 or 8. He ignored it. He's had his
attorney come to me in court and say "he just wants to make it clear he
wants nothing to do with this child" - and my response was that he'd
made that crystal clear for years. She indicated with her tone and
manner that she thought he was a piece of shit. Really? Tell me
something I don't know. I told him that he'd had the opportunity to
walk away when I was pregnant and he chose not to do that. I flat out
told him that since he decided that this child is going to grow up
without a father, I decided that he would lack for nothing else - and
that Kevin would pay for it. So every time I can - I take him back for
an increase in child support. And make it clear that if he'd #1 -
walked away when he had the chance, we wouldn't be there. And #2 - if
he were a decent human being, we wouldn't be there.
He
and his wife have since divorced, he and Jeanne now live together and he
plays father of the year to their daughter (who has been introduced and
accepted into the family - not quite sure how that was handled...) and
the 3 kids he had with his ex-wife. And who knows about their youngest
half-sibling, Josh? None of them
(**they all now know). Because that would make him look
like an asshole. Really?
So yeah. Happy fucking
father's day Kevin. You're a piece of shit and I think deep down, you
know that. I can only hope that some day karma bites you in the ass...
Another 2015 Addition - from someone I've known way before Kevin was around...
"The
next time you see that POS Statie, you THANK HIM. You thank him for
pushing you down a path you never knew existed until he came into your
life and set up some huge road blocks. You thank him for forcing you to
grow up, become a truly AMAZING single parent, raising a GREAT kid.
Then you thank him for doing a bang-up job of fucking up his own
miserable life, because from where you're sitting, it looks like you can
put a turd in a uniform but he'll still smell like shit. His choices,
his consequences. And you got the better deal, a clean conscience, a
better nights sleep and a son any parent would be proud of.. Carry on
head high...because YOU ROCK!"
