Father's Day...

Oy.  Father's Day.  This one is a toughie for me, always has been.

While I wish my father a wonderful father's day - it's a tough one on my son (or for me, not so much him).

We were walking by cards last week in Walmart, and he started laughing when he saw one that said "hey Dad, thanks for everything".. he asked if that would be appropriate to send to his Dad - with a sarcastic twist (wow, he really is my kid LOL).  And he always refers to him as "my Dad"..  I always refer to him as "your father".  Big difference there. 

He was around for the first year.  Kind of.  When Josh had surgery at 13 weeks, he showed up in the hospital on his way to work.  After the surgery was over, said and done.  I was the one that was there at 5:30 am to hand him over to the anesthesiologist, not knowing if I'd ever see him again.  Thank God my stepmother came with me for support, otherwise I'd have been on my own.   We'd meet every once in a while and take a walk, or he would use wanting to see him as an excuse to see me.  Guess I hadn't learned yet.   Josh was just starting to say "DaDa" when he saw him when the shit hit the fan.  On his first birthday, Kevin stopped in (of course on his way to work) and spent 10 minutes with him.  I'd sat around all day, waiting for him to come and spend time with his child.  I postponed a birthday party so he could see him.  Because, really, what kind of person would I be if I didn't do everything I could to make sure that my son knew his father?  I snapped.  I told him that he was more than welcome to see his child any time he wanted - but he had to be consistent and not sneak around to do it.  Not asking much, right?  I decided that what had been good enough for me was definitely not good enough for my son.  He never made an effort to see him again.  We'd run into each other and Josh would say hello to the nice policeman, but I wouldn't tell him that was "Dad".  He didn't deserve it at that point. And because we lived near each other, one question I brought up was "what happens if we run into each other in the store and he sees you?  Calls you Dad?  what are you going to do - run away"...  His response "of course not".. Thank goodness it never happened, because I think that's what he would have done. 

When I found out I was pregnant, I gave him the option of walking away - said "now is your chance to leave, if you want nothing to do with this baby - walk away now, no strings attached".  His response "what do you think I am, an asshole"?  Um. YES?  But at that point I was still in love, trying to regain my dignity and self-respect and getting pregnant by a married man wasn't where I wanted my life to go.  Oh, hadn't heard that story?  I thought I'd posted about it before, but can't find it to link to it.  Suffice it to say it wasn't one of the smartest decisions in my life.   Anyway, I digress...  He chose not to walk away.  And then got mad at me when I took him to court for child support.   Really?  Really?   Anyway - we came to a truce of sorts, and would run into each other and say hello, and he'd spend a couple of minutes with Josh and then be all sad because he wasn't a part of his life.  Whatever - your choice, dude.

He had another child with another girlfriend (Jeanne) a couple of years before me.  She and I became great friends and our kids knew each other (but not that they were siblings).  That ended when I caught her sleeping with Kevin again - him cheating on his wife (yet again) and her cheating on her husband.  Her daughter didn't know him as her father, thought that Jeanne's husband was her father.  There's more to the story, but I'm trying to make this short and sweet.  Right?  LOL

Josh wrote him a letter when he was 7 or 8.  He ignored it.  He's had his attorney come to me in court and say "he just wants to make it clear he wants nothing to do with this child" - and my response was that he'd made that crystal clear for years.  She indicated with her tone and manner that she thought he was a piece of shit.  Really?  Tell me something I don't know.   I told him that he'd had the opportunity to walk away when I was pregnant and he chose not to do that. I flat out told him that since he decided that this child is going to grow up without a father, I decided that he would lack for nothing else - and that Kevin would pay for it.  So every time I can - I take him back for an increase in child support.  And make it clear that if he'd #1 - walked away when he had the chance, we wouldn't be there.  And #2 - if he were a decent human being, we wouldn't be there.

He and his wife have since divorced, he and Jeanne now live together and he plays father of the year to their daughter (who has been introduced and accepted into the family - not quite sure how that was handled...) and the 3 kids he had with his ex-wife.   And who knows about their youngest half-sibling, Josh?  None of them.  Because that would make him look like an asshole.  Really? 

So yeah.  Happy fucking father's day Kevin.  You're a piece of shit and I think deep down, you know that.  I can only hope that some day karma bites you in the ass...