More Shit Defendants Say...

One of my favorites ever to come in.  Bambi.  Who probably deserves her very own post, but I'll condense it.  LOL

Imagine this.  300 lbs. (plus).  Very large fake ponytail on the top of her head.   First off, I was blinded by the ponytail.  Which kept bobbing around as she talked.  Which made my head bob around, following it...  It doesn't bode well for me.  Or Bambi.  She tells me that I'm a public servant, and I need to serve her.  Huh?  What?
Yeah.  That's how this went.

End result, the deputies came in to remove her.  One told her she had 5 seconds to pick up her stuff and get out.   Her response?  "I weigh 300 lbs.  There ain't nothing I can do in 5 seconds" or something to that effect.  His response?  To tell her that if she isn't moving in 5 seconds, he'll move her.  Again - her response "I weigh 300 lbs.  what choo gonna do - drag my fat ass outta here"?  His?  "YUP"...
***************************
"I have an appointment at 8:30"  By appointment, you mean arraignment for the drunk driving charge?  "yes"...
******************************************
Woman towing 3 kids with her.  "Can you tell me where Bob Smith* is going to be in court?"...  Me:  He'll be on video in court Z.  Her "come on kids, let's go see daddy on TV"....
************************************
"I think I have court today". 
OK - now this one absolutely kills me.  If *I* have to go to court, I know where I have to be, when and what time.  I can't tell you how many people show up hours late, days early and then say that they lost their paperwork... Really?  REALLY?  Are you stupid???  Oh wait.  Never mind.
***********************************
"I'm here to pay my son's fines"...  Oh good - that's great.  Teach the kid responsibility.  It's only a drunk driving charge and he's SEVENTEEN.  Fabulous...


Anyway - only 3 more days of this - then we'll have a whole new pool of peeps to work with.  LOL