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Saturday 9: Self Esteem

1. How was your self esteem growing up?
Well, let's see - here are some memorable quotes:

My mother:  "Stop eating, you look like the side of a barn" Which, of course, led to more eating because what the hell, if I look like that already...

My sister:  "She's the pretty one in the family but she's fat"

Jens:  "You're just not special"... (you can read about him here)

Now?  I know I'm queen of the freaking universe.  Beauty isn't just on the outside - it's what is inside too, and Jens?  Suck it.  You weren't worth the dirt on the bottom of my shoe. 

2. Do you ever have a hard time with morals?  

 Morals schmorals... LOL  I've had a hard time in the past figuring out what's right and wrong, and sometimes I did things right, sometimes I didn't.  Now that I'm a "grown up"?  It's easier.  I have to set an example, and if I do wrong - explain why.   So while I used to have the morals of an alley cat (not really, that just sounds good doesn't it?) - I don't have a hard time with them any more.  I recognize others that are lacking in them, though.  Geez, who knew there were so many that, as adults, had NONE?  

3. Do you eat in bed? If yes, what? 

Really?  This is just a funny question...  LOLOLOLOL   Have you watched 9 1/2 weeks lately?  Or read 50 Shades of Grey?  You dirty dirty boy.... 

4. What was the last movie you hated and why? 

Hmmm.... I walked out on Amadeus.  I thought it was boring.  That could really be the last one.. 

5. Have you ever felt that you lost it all? If yes, explain. 

Never.  I've felt like I'm in the swirling vortex of a whirlpool, but always end up catching a life preserver just in time.  I've got the love of my son, my friends and most members of my family - so even if I lost all of my material possessions?  I'd still have all that.  So in that respect - I'm rich.  

6. Have you ever been stalked? 

Oh, my God.  Yes.  It was creepy, dude!!  My ex, JFA, used to drive by my house and beep.  Now, here's the weird thing - I lived on a dead end street with 5 houses.  NO reason for him to be there.  It took me copying the Massachusetts statue on stalking and sending it to him with a note that he should read it, and if he failed to understand - that I'm sure that the police department could explain it to him.  And to GO THE FUCK AWAY.  I even told him that when it came time to do his 12 steps - he should consider himself forgiven already.   No need to contact me for it or to make amends.  The guy was a highly functioning alcoholic, and thought nothing of drinking and driving - and lashing out when he was jonesing for a drink.  Buh bye...  Last I heard - he'd been arrested twice for OUI and once for violating a restraining order - looking in another ex's windows.  I think I got away fairly unscathed and for that, I'm thankful.   

7. Do you believe in 'self help' for problems, or do you prefer therapy? 

Shit, I'll take whatever help I can get - know anybody that deals in "how to fuck up your sibling relationships in 20 moves or less"?  I know of at least 3 people other than myself that can use that course...  I have to admit, though, that my son's therapist told me this week he has a wee bit of a crush on me.  He thinks I'm a kick-ass single parent and loves the way I deal with stuff.  Now if only others could seem to get that.. LOL 

8. What celebrity do you think should make a run for office?
None of them.  I think they should all stick to what they know best, and put a woman in the President's office - THAT will show everyone how to kick ass, not to fuck with someone having a hot flash AND how to balance a budget.  Guys are dumb. 

9. Do you believe in happy endings? (We do. That why this is the last question!)

God, I hope so!  I'm still looking for mine!