So this email I sent to everyone back in February, trying to explain why I was upset and what about. Big surprise - except for an email from my younger brother, acknowledging my frustration - this was ignored. I also made it clear that what is happening to my brother is beyond all of our control, and that it's awful - but what we DO have control over? How we treat each other. So Kristen, Anonymous? What do you say now?
Hi all -
I’m not really sure how to say a lot of this
without coming across bitchy – so I apologize in advance – but I’m
really upset and feel that I need to say
something – regardless of the whole situation and why we’re in it.
When I was at the cottage in July – I had NO idea
that it was going to be my last time there. Had I known what was going
on, I might have had an idea that the sale might happen – and I could
have looked around to see what, if anything,
I would want when the cottage was sold. But I didn’t know what was
going on with K for another couple of months (*my brother waited almost a year to share his diagnosis of ALS with me).
I live in Michigan. I don’t live in MA. I don’t
have the “luxury” of being able to be there in 45 minutes, which is
what I tried to convey back in January when I was asking about taking
things out of the house if/when it sold. When
we talked about it back at Thanksgiving, I mentioned to K that one
thing I definitely wanted out of the house was the Castle Island print.
He mentioned at the same time that he wanted the print in the living
room.
In January, I also mentioned it in an email to everyone –I thought I was pretty clear.
So I was very surprised yesterday when I was told
that P is taking the print. Had the situation been reversed, I
would have said no, that P wanted it – and that she’d made that
clear. But apparently my thoughts just don’t seem
to matter, from what it appears? I’m SORRY that I live in Michigan
right now. I’m SORRY that I haven’t been there to help. But does
that negate anything other than my ¼ ownership in the cottage?
Apparently so. For P to be offered the print as a
thank you for her help is great – but K – you’re not the owner of all of it. You’re the trustee. We
ALL own it – and we ALL should have agreed before anything was
taken out or given away. Anything else isn’t fair to anyone. I hope
B was given a chance to say if he wanted anything.
Had I know that there was even an offer on the
house, I would have tried to arrange to fly out and help clear things
out – what I wanted completely aside. I’ve offered a number of times to
do this. But I’m not told about it until all
is said and done – and a closing date is within two weeks. I’m asked
“what do you want out of the house” with an almost immediate answer
required. So as a result, there are things that I want that were
missed. I am off on Monday, and could have flown
out this weekend – but now buying a last second ticket will cost much
more than if I’d bought it even last week.
Also, I asked about the victrola, and was told
that “Dad asked for that” – same with the “DD” sign. I’m sorry –
Dad’s NOT one of the owners of the cottage. For him to get preference
over anyone that IS unfair and not ok as
far as I’m concerned. Dad – love you, BUT the cottage was Mom’s part
of the divorce – yours was the sailboat. Mom left the cottage to the
four of us – including its contents. I think that if K, P, B or I
wanted something out of the house –
we should have preference over you.
I’ve been very frustrated and left out of most
things – probably because I live in Michigan. I’ve expressed this
frustration a number of times, and still get left in the dark until the
very last minute.
And I know that in the end – it’s all just
“stuff”. And the memories are so much more important than any kind of
stuff. But it should have been done fairly, and it wasn’t.
I was furious about this yesterday, now I’m just
upset and sad that whatever I say just doesn’t seem to matter. And nope
– it’s not all about me.
I get that. And Peg – I know that I was bitchy
yesterday and for that, I apologize. But you have been pretty bitchy to
me throughout this whole process. And your offer to go get the wagon
and leave it at Michelle’s for me was just
insulting. I would have at least asked if there was anything else that
you wanted.
I’ve been awake since 2:30 this morning. I keep
running through my head the fact that I want to move home, and all I can
think of now is WHY did I want to do that??
Love to you all –
K
No comments:
Post a Comment