Black Velvet Elvis and living in Slumpartments.. Life is good...

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard of the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we also have our rules. First, we always credit the blog that we stole it from and we will “fess up” to the blog owner where we stole the meme. We also provide a link to the victim's post. (It's our way of saying "Thanks!") We do sometimes edit the original meme, usually to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, sometimes to select that meme's best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from either this new meme or recently asked questions from a prior featured meme. 
Let's go!!!

The I Amuse Myself Meme from FoxyDanish

01. What is something that you have lost recently?
My youth.  Jesus Christmas.  I went to my 30th HS reunion last week.   Some people are retired, some have grandkids, and I'm like "Jesus - I'm still looking for a career!"..  LOL  What the hell?  Where did the time go?

02. Do you own any self-help books?: 
Yeah, but obviously none on how to keep your youth.  I kind of like the Road Less Traveled.  Not for the book, just for the saying.  I love taking the Jeep off-road.  See?  I'm not that old.  Freaking geriatrics. 

03. Do you live near the sea or ocean?: 
Um.  How about a LAKE or the ocean?  I live 5 min. from Gull Lake, one of Southwest Michigan's premier all sports, cleaner than the usual lakes.  And 45 min. from Lake Michigan.  But my favorite?  Lake Superior.  Everyone that knows me knows I'm afraid of all things lake.  There's scurry shit down there.  But Superior - that is the absolute cleanest, nicest body of water I've ever had the pleasure to pee in.  LOL

04. Have you ever spent ages making/writing something on your computer when it suddenly crashed and you lost it all?: 
Hells no.  I'm smarter than the average bear.  I save shit all the time.

05. Do you enjoy food shopping?: 
I enjoy food.  Period. 

06. What are you having for lunch?: 
I don't know what I'm having for breakfast, and you expect me to know what I'm having for lunch?  Get a grip there, Leon!

07. Are you one of those people who can sleep through anything?: 
On a picket fence in a windstorm.  That's me.  I can sleep through just about anything, as long as it's consistent.  Even an MRI.  LOL

08. Do you like love letters?: 
HAH!  I've written many of them over the years.  I've never gotten one, though.  Maybe a "don't hate me because I'm an asshole" letter or two.  Or a "I'm going to write something nice so you don't take me to court for child support" one (yeah, that shit didn't work LOL).. I think I wrote one to Jens once.  He was an asshole.  You can read about him here
wow.  what a fucktard he was.  How naive I was.  Anyway.  Blech..

09. Have you ever received or written one?: 
What is this, the Department of Redundancy Department?
Here - here's one of the examples (just remember while you're reading that this man lies about everything - something that I didn't realize at the time):

 

10. How far does your nearest relative live?:
Blood relative?  Chicago!  TheManda!  Otherwise?  I have sisters and family all over this fair land.  Don't let anyone ever fool you - blood is not thicker than water.  I have enemies that treat me better than the siblings I grew up with.

11. Do you like velvet?:  
Only when it involves this:

Now let me give you a little of the backstory here... my older brother was one of two trustees for a cottage that my mother left us.  It needed improvements.  I suggested a couple of things, and he told me that I was not, under any circumstances, to bring any of my shit there and that I had "Black Velvet Elvis" tastes and that's how I'd decorated my "slumpartments" up to that point.  Now mind you - I was (and still am) a single parent.  I did what I could with what I had.  ALL of my apartments were decorated nicely (if at all), and while a couple could have been in better areas?  None of them were in the slums or even close to it.  But me, being the wiseass that I am?  Bought this on Ebay (it was his mother's most prized possession!) and left it at the cottage next time I was there.   The comments from my brother started a shitstorm like no other.  Jeez.  And to think, I wondered why our family was dysfunctional? 


12. What kind of art do you like?:
LOL right after the velvet question?   I own a few of these prints.  I love a lot of the classics. 

13. If you went to London, where would you go first?:
Well, I've been to London!  The first place I went to?  The airport.  Then our hotel.  LOL

This was from Hyde Park - where people really do get up on soap boxes!  The boy is now taller than me.  Holy crapola!  We only spent 3 days, I think?  But I loved it.  And would love to go back.  Damn, I miss when I was rich.... LOL


14. If you had to pick one friend who is the most interesting, who would you pick?:
Aw Hell NAW... I can't pick just one!  I have way too many. 

15. Can you think of the meanest thing you have ever done/said to someone?:
Wow, did you read the Jens story?  Holy shit...  Are you inside my head?   What's the meanest thing I ever did?  I think that sleeping with someone's husband is the worst thing I ever did.  And while I was young, stupid and in love?  That's no excuse.  And I am a firm believer in karma.  I have made peace with my decisions, apologized for my mistakes, and live my life the best I can.  And never EVER will I have anything going on with someone that is taken.  It's not worth it.  And for those wondering if karma will ever catch up with him?  One child calls him a "douche", another "an alcoholic asshole"..   So you tell me?

16. What magazines do you read?:
I like Better Homes & Garden, Journal, Simple Life, and those bastards - they discontinued the Martha Stewart cooking one - Everyday Food.  That was - hands down - the best cooking magazine ever.

17. What/who has been on your mind today?:
Elvis.  Karma.  You know, shit like that..

18. Would you be interested in ghost-hunting?:
Sure!  When do we leave?