Shit defendants say......

OOOH Honey, what you done - you look different.  Did you get youngified overnight?

Me:  why, yes, yes, I did!
 ********************
Me: Your payment isn't due until February.
Def:  February?
Me:  yes, February.
Def:  Next month?
Me:  Well, considering that this is January, next month would be February, yes.
 ***********************

Def:  He told me to come here and do, um, something.
Me:  he who?
Def:  Um, you know.  The, um, guy.  Told me to come here and do something.
Me:  Did you just come from court?
Def: yes
Me:  Did you talk to a Judge?
Def:  yes.
Me:  What did the Judge tell you to do?
Def:  set up a payment plan.
Me:  Oh.  Well that helps.  Here fill this out....
Def. comes back after 10 min, form only half filled out.  "here".
Me:  No - you need to fill it out completely, including how much you can pay per month.
Def:  Well the Judge told me I could do community service.
Me:  Oh, really?  Gee that would have been helpful to know - here now fill out THIS form instead...

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Best one yet?

"Why you got to be locking a Shameka up?"


You can't make this shit up...