Sunday, June 21, 2015

Ahhhh Father's Day....

Father's Day.  Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there - that deserve it - I felt this deserved a repost.  There is so much of a huge difference between a *Dad* and a *Father*.  So for my son's father - this one's for you...  And anyone in MA that sees a trooper working - not sure if he's working - he's on the Turnpike these days - not sure if he's in the tunnels or on the bikes - but I do know that he's a detail whore, so chances are he'll be out there.... if his nametag says something that rhymes with "Day" but starts with an F?  That'd be him - you wish him a Happy Father's Day from his son that he "wants to make clear he wants nothing to do with"...... 
**My 2013 Addition  to this - the boy saw one of his sisters just after Christmas - after she texted me to ask if he was her brother.  Great way for an almost 18 year old to find out, huh?  But because of her age, I felt it appropriate to answer with the truth - something she hadn't gotten from either of her parents. 
**My 2015 addition?  He's out of work with an injured knee, I think..  He (or Jeanne the crazy one) have made sure that nobody on his side of the family will have anything to do with him (including the above-mentioned sister).  It is what it is.  I'm really on the fence these days.  Yes, he's a POS.  But also without him I wouldn't have my son.  And while, yes, he is a POS - 20 years ago I chose to get into a relationship with him.  Me = young, naive, not looking for anything serious.  Him = an opportunist that lied lied lied and I believed it all.  I still poke.  I probably, in some capacity, always will.  I think that it's a shame that so many people choose to miss out on such a great kid (actually, young man now).  Their loss.  Shame on them.  But now that he's 18?  Not my circus, not my monkeys.  Maybe this will be the last time you see this post..  Then again, maybe not.  LOL I think this year, I may actually share this with him as well.  And include the comment below from my (brilliant) friend Tricia....

**also edited to add that he and Jeanne?  Tell people they got together in 2005. Um, really?  Cuz it was 2003 when they started cheating on their respective spouses again.  Funny how that seems to have been left out....

Oy.  Father's Day.  This one is a toughie for me, always has been.

While I wish my father a wonderful father's day - it's a tough one on my son (or for me, not so much him).

We were walking by cards last week in Walmart, and he started laughing when he saw one that said "hey Dad, thanks for everything".. he asked if that would be appropriate to send to his Dad - with a sarcastic twist (wow, he really is my kid LOL).  And he always refers to him as "my Dad"..  I always refer to him as "your father".  Big difference there. 

He was around for the first year.  Kind of.  When Josh had surgery at 13 weeks, he showed up in the hospital on his way to work.  After the surgery was over, said and done.  I was the one that was there at 5:30 am to hand him over to the anesthesiologist, not knowing if I'd ever see him again.  Thank God my stepmother came with me for support, otherwise I'd have been on my own.   We'd meet every once in a while and take a walk, or he would use wanting to see him as an excuse to see me.  Guess I hadn't learned yet.   Josh was just starting to say "DaDa" when he saw him when the shit hit the fan.  On his first birthday, Kevin stopped in (of course on his way to work) and spent 10 minutes with him.  I'd sat around all day, waiting for him to come and spend time with his child.  I postponed a birthday party so he could see him.  Because, really, what kind of person would I be if I didn't do everything I could to make sure that my son knew his father?  I snapped.  I told him that he was more than welcome to see his child any time he wanted - but he had to be consistent and not sneak around to do it.  Not asking much, right?  I decided that what had been good enough for me was definitely not good enough for my son.  He never made an effort to see him again.  We'd run into each other and Josh would say hello to the nice policeman, but I wouldn't tell him that was "Dad".  He didn't deserve it at that point. And because we lived near each other, one question I brought up was "what happens if we run into each other in the store and he sees you?  Calls you Dad?  what are you going to do - run away"...  His response "of course not".. Thank goodness it never happened, because I think that's what he would have done.

When I found out I was pregnant, I gave him the option of walking away - said "now is your chance to leave, if you want nothing to do with this baby - walk away now, no strings attached".  His response "what do you think I am, an asshole"?  Um. YES?  But at that point I was still in love, trying to regain my dignity and self-respect and getting pregnant by a married man wasn't where I wanted my life to go.  Oh, hadn't heard that story?  I thought I'd posted about it before, but can't find it to link to it.  Suffice it to say it wasn't one of the smartest decisions in my life.   Anyway, I digress...  He chose not to walk away.  And then got mad at me when I took him to court for child support.   Really?  Really?   Anyway - we came to a truce of sorts, and would run into each other and say hello, and he'd spend a couple of minutes with Josh and then be all sad because he wasn't a part of his life.  Whatever - your choice, dude.

He had another child with another girlfriend (Jeanne) a couple of years before me.  She and I became great friends and our kids knew each other (but not that they were siblings).  That ended when I caught her sleeping with Kevin again - him cheating on his wife (yet again) and her cheating on her husband.  Her daughter didn't know him as her father, thought that Jeanne's husband was her father.  There's more to the story, but I'm trying to make this short and sweet.  Right?  LOL

Josh wrote him a letter when he was 7 or 8.  He ignored it.  He's had his attorney come to me in court and say "he just wants to make it clear he wants nothing to do with this child" - and my response was that he'd made that crystal clear for years.  She indicated with her tone and manner that she thought he was a piece of shit.  Really?  Tell me something I don't know.   I told him that he'd had the opportunity to walk away when I was pregnant and he chose not to do that. I flat out told him that since he decided that this child is going to grow up without a father, I decided that he would lack for nothing else - and that Kevin would pay for it.  So every time I can - I take him back for an increase in child support.  And make it clear that if he'd #1 - walked away when he had the chance, we wouldn't be there.  And #2 - if he were a decent human being, we wouldn't be there.

He and his wife have since divorced, he and Jeanne now live together and he plays father of the year to their daughter (who has been introduced and accepted into the family - not quite sure how that was handled...) and the 3 kids he had with his ex-wife.   And who knows about their youngest half-sibling, Josh?  None of them (**they all now know).  Because that would make him look like an asshole.  Really? 

So yeah.  Happy fucking father's day Kevin.  You're a piece of shit and I think deep down, you know that.  I can only hope that some day karma bites you in the ass...

Another 2015 Addition - from someone I've known way before Kevin was around...
"The next time you see that POS Statie, you THANK HIM. You thank him for pushing you down a path you never knew existed until he came into your life and set up some huge road blocks. You thank him for forcing you to grow up, become a truly AMAZING single parent, raising a GREAT kid. Then you thank him for doing a bang-up job of fucking up his own miserable life, because from where you're sitting, it looks like you can put a turd in a uniform but he'll still smell like shit. His choices, his consequences. And you got the better deal, a clean conscience, a better nights sleep and a son any parent would be proud of.. Carry on head high...because YOU ROCK!" 

Saturday, June 13, 2015

I feel so stifled....

American Pie

Welcome to Saturday: 9. What we've committed to our readers is that we will post 9 questions every Saturday. Sometimes the post will have a theme, and at other times the questions will be totally unrelated. Those weeks we do "random questions," so-to-speak. We encourage you to visit other participants posts and leave a comment. Because we don't have any rules, it is your choice. We hate rules. We love memes, however, and here is today's meme!

Saturday 9: American Pie (1971)

... because Country Dew suggested it

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In the lyrics, Don McLean refers to having once been a paper boy. When you were a kid, what job or household chores did you do for spending money?My jobs were to trim the hedges and vacuum the stairs. To this day, I still hate both.  LOL

2) Them good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye. What's the last drink you ordered? I didn't order it, I bought it.  It's just available in Michigan - it's called "Not your Father's Rootbeer" and Oh.  My.  GOD.  It's gooooooooood......

3) He drove to the levee but it was dry. When is the last time it rained where you are? 

Yesterday, last night, this morning, and a 70% chance all day.  Sigh.  I probably should put the windows back into Lucy 2.0.  I hate that though.  I feel so stifled.  

4) When McLean was working on the song, he wrote the lyrics out in long hand. It took him 16 pages of lined notebook paper. Today it's a laptop/smartphone/tablet world, and Sam can't remember the last time she hand wrote anything longer than a sign on her front door that read, "Bell broken. Plz knock." What about you? What's the last thing you wrote with pen or pencil?

My wireless password for the baseball player that is staying with us and arrived last night.

5) McLean's most recent CD is called "Addicted to Black," in reference to Olivia in The Twelfth Night. Quick! Without looking it up, name another character from Shakespeare.

Othello.  Romeo & Juliet.  Should I go on?  

6) Don was born in New Rochelle, New York, which was named one of The Best Walking Cities in America by the American Podiatric Medical Association (APMA). What about your neighborhood? Is it easily walkable?

I had a home built in my neighborhood because they advertised 5 miles of walking trails.  Yeah.  That hasn't happened.  There's about a mile or so.  Apparently the 5 miles is when they are completed with all phases.  They're still in Phase I.  

7) In 1971, the year this song was popular, Walt Disney World officially opened. Have you ever been to DisneyLand or Disney World?

Both!  I was actually in Disney World I think the first or second year it opened.  I was 7, I think?  So it'd be the 2nd year.  They used tickets for rides.  Lots and lots of tickets.  LOL

8) Also in 1971, Mattel introduced Malibu Barbie. This doll was a "sun-loving California girl" and had a distinct tan. Have you ever used a tanning bed? 

Once or twice - not a huge fan of tan in the box.

9) American Pie is also the name of a 1999 movie. Have you seen it?

Hasn't just about everyone?

Been MIA for a while.  Working 60+ hours a week will do that to a person!  Got some interesting comments on one of my posts from someone that dubbed themselves "Another Kathy hater" (which would be the crazy Vinnie from the neighborhood).  It was pretty amusing, but now comments on older posts are moderated.  If we're all lucky - maybe he'll come back and spew forth some more drivel for us to laugh at.  And now it's baseball season, so I'm doing my full time job, my part time job, and my host family coordinator job for the baseball team.  Talk about busier than a one-armed paper hanger!   Oh, and in the middle of all this - the boy graduated and was celebrated.  :)  He did it, yay!  Now off to community college for the fall, and he gets to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up :)

Hope all is well with everyone!