Sunday, January 27, 2013

Duh... Your Mom

Today we ripped off a blogger named Another Suburban Mom from the blog Another Suburban Mom. It is 20 questions,  She says she got it from Dana.  But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Meme From Suburbia

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?

Your mom... oh.  Wait.  No.  I'm not a lesbian.  Your Dad?  Your Uncle Bill?  I had ended relationship with a raging alcoholic who kept driving down my street (a dead end) and beeping at my house, finding out that one of my best friends was a lying psycho crazy woman and trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my life.   

2. By this time next year, I ...

Will have painted the rest of the damn rooms in the house!

3. Do you think the United States will elect a female President in your lifetime? Do you think this would be a good thing?

Good God, I hope so.  We get shit done.  Seriously.

4. Which fictional, TV show character you would shag anytime?

Adam Levine?  Um.. no wait.  fictional.  Oh, wait!  SNL's "dick in a box" guy.  That's fictional.  LOL

5. Who is your greatest enemy?

I try not to have enemies, I mean really, what are we in - midieval times?  I have people that I don't like for various reasons, but an enemy?  Oh, no, wait.  Vinnie - the neighborhood whack job.  LMAO   But I've promised I won't poke the beast any more. 

6. Tell me about your most recent trip of more than 100 miles?

Well, it was more than 100 miles, and it was a trip!  It was fun.  LOL  It was my trip "home" for Christmas.  You want more?  Read back..

7. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?


8. Do you have a nickname? What is it?

 Well, if you ask my mortal enemy, Vinnie, it's lesbian, but for others its Westy.  Used to be Chesty Westy - but I took care of that shit.  LOL

9. What are you dreading at the moment?

Painting the rest of the damn rooms in my house.  Holy shit my arm hurts.  And my neck. 

10. Do you worry that others will judge you from reading some of your answers?

Don't you judge me.  You just step the F back there.. You don't know me.  You don't know my life!

11. If you find an outfit you love, but the size on the label is larger than you want, do you buy the outfit? Why or why not?

Nope.  I'll find it in my size, or find something else.  I have standards.  I have certain lines I will not cross.  Don't you tempt me..

12. Even the biggest slackers are anal-retentive about something? What are you anal-retentive about?

My kitchen sink.  I hate it being dirty.  Hate hate hate it.

13. Out of all the books you read as a child, which one had the biggest influence on how you are today?

How to win friends and Influence People?  Really?  What, you were expecting Little House on the Prairie or Nancy Drew?  Come on now.  No, wait.  How about Barbie and Ken do it?  Would that work for you?

14. Which Golden Girl would you want to spend a night on the town with?

Betty White.  Hands down.  She's a freaking hoot.  I want to party with her!  Plus, isn't she the only one left now? 

15. What is the one product you would never buy in its generic form even if the generic is half the price?

Shampoo.  Some cereals.  There are some things I don't mind generic, but some?  Really, don't fuck with my good shit. 

16. How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa?
You son of a bitch!  

17. What is the one smell that turns your stomach without fail?

Having worked in an ER for years - there really isn't anything.  But seeing someone having packing pulled from their nose - that makes me want to heave.  That and wiggly teeth.  Go figure, right?

18. If someone holds out a carton of milk to you and asks you to sniff it to see if its spoiled, do you?

Sure.  I don't care.  Just don't ask me to drink it. 

19. You have a completely free day and $2000.00, What are you doing?

Going to Lowes or Home Depot.  Sad, but true.  I need storm doors and better insulation in my attic and a whole bunch of other stuff.  But oh, I'd have fun!

20. What is the most used item in your home?

Come on.  Really?  You have to know this one.....

Your Mom.  LMAO


Saturday, January 26, 2013

Tastes like chicken!

Saturday 9: Stormy Weather

1) Do noisy storms scare you?
Nooooo - I love 'em.  I remember Hurricane Gloria - my cousin Chris and I went out and drove around for what seemed like forever, playing the song over and over again.  LOL 

2) Mother Winters tells us Lena Horne was considered one of the great beauties of the 1940s. Whom do you consider one of today's most beautiful women?
Well, duh.  ME.  But if not me?  I think that it depends.  Like Tina Fey at the awards show - she looked gorgeous - but Julia Roberts is one of those "classic" beauties.  Aw heck, I don't know.  I look at the guys more.  LOL
SNL.  Tonight.  Be there.  

3) Crazy Sam admits it -- there's a big bag of recycling she really should take out to the bin. Yet she's composing this meme. What should you be doing, instead of answering her questions?
Painting, once I'm done.  I've planned this down time into my day.  LOL 

4) Sam may be crazy, but she's not stupid and will never waste her money on Cialis, no matter how many unsolicited emails she receives! What's the most recent addition to your spam folder?
Something about enlarging my non-existent penis.  I mean, seriously, do they even check who they're sending this shit to?  I'm not gay, so I don't want to know how to pleasure her for hours..  Ew.  

5) What was the last thing you cooked?
Brains....  brains... BRAINS!!.. Nah... just kidding.  chicken.  it was tasty.  Or was it brains that tasted like chicken?  muahahahahahahaaaaaaa

6) Do you remember the lyrics to your either your high school or college fight song? If so, please share a bit.
We didn't have one.  But our graduating class song was "Southern Cross".  Yeah.  If you can figure it out, let me know.

7) "Samantha" is the feminine of "Samuel" and means "Listener." What's the derivation of your first name?
Spawn of the devil?  LOL  Actually, I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure what it's NOT:
Kathleen is a Irish girl name. The meaning of the name is `innocent`.

8) Are you following the NBA or NHL this year? If so, which team are you rooting for?
Neither, really.  But if I watch, it's the Bruins or the local ECHL team here in town.

9) Gloves, umbrellas, sunglasses, keys -- which of these do you misplace most often?
None of em!  Well, my gloves got lost - but I got new ones and I'd had the others for years.  I don't use an umbrella - the rain parts a way for me, sunglasses?  I AM the brightness, and keys?  Hah!  They're in my.. wait.  where the hell are they.. oh now dammit!!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

TMI Tuesday!

OK, so if you know me, you know I'm a single mom.  Of a teenage boy.  Just one.  He's enough.  He makes me laugh my ass off one minute and shake my head the next.  And anyone that knows boys, know they like all kinds of bodily functions.  They like farts, burps, poops (aka dumps) - all that stuff.  And on occasion, we might have a contest.  You know - who can do the stinkiest one, all that.  Tonight, I'm cutting up my lettuce for my salad and I actually lifted my leg and let one rip.  Which, I have discovered, makes 17 year old girls wrinkle their faces in disgust and then they tweet about it.  And single moms of girls, while they might be a BFF, they don't get it either.  So after the aforementioned "rip", I started thinking, I wonder if any of the boy's friends moms do that.  And that made me laugh.  Loudly.  Now mind you - he's upstairs, plugged into his XBox live with headphones - and he hasn't heard any of this.  Which makes me laugh even harder.  Silly boys.  LOL

Oh, and if you need to get some going - eat a Fiber One bar.  Holy moley!

Someone sent me this email today - and really, I think it's the nicest email anyone's ever sent me.  It made me smile.  And she knows about all the shit with my family, and my son, and his father - all that stuff... but read it.  And you can smile too.  :0)

Just let me say one more time… you looked beautiful the other day… not just on the outside, but I could see an “approval rating” in yourself that, frankly, I haven’t quite seen since I’ve known you.   Don’t get me wrong… I think you have much to be proud of in who you are, what you’ve overcome, what you’ve done w/your son… and where you have still yet to go.   You sure aren’t finished yet.  I watched you take yo’ butt out onto the cold, wet pavement to get some exercise in… and you inspired me further.  I was reeling (in a good way) inside when I saw that. 

Keep going Kathy.  You’re being prepared (although you call it “preparing yourself”) for something wonderful in your future.  You can never receive the best until you make yourself the best you can be to be received. 

Your son is very fortunate that he has a good role model and example for a mother… and as a result, he is much of what you have given your life for… even though he is a self-centered (aka “normal”) teenager (sometimes horrible brat) who will appreciate you more later.  You go girl that you’ve done something great for yourself (body, soul and mind).  The basis of all goodness is giving and receiving love.  You are transforming yourself into a better person…  even though it’s not all about you (or me).  Be hungry for more of the “real thing”… and that ain’t you or me…but what we can offer to others.  May goodness follow you all the days of your life.

Okay then….. See you tomorrow!!!!  J

I feel/sound like a preacher.  How bout we just accept me (the dork) for being the cheerleader I want to be for you???

I like her.  She's good peeps.  Oh.  And speaking of peeps.  Do you know who's hosting SNL this week?  Oh yeahhhhhhhhhh......

This guy.... 

Who, not for nothing - could put his dick in a box for me.  And then make me do naughty naughty things...  And I'd love every.  single.   second...


Sunday, January 20, 2013

What are we, Canadian?

Today we ripped off a blogger named The Ruminator from the blog Random Ruminations. It is 30 questions, But we are only posting the back half. She says she got it from Manasa. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Sunday Stealing: The Back 15 Meme 

15) How do you vent out your anger?
I punch people in the throat..  Or I take off on another assassination assignment (wonderful alliteration there, eh?)..  Or I just yell.

16) Favourite toy as a child?
What are we, Canadian?  it's favorite.  Not that favourite wackiness.  I had a Barbie airplane.  I was hot shit.  I loved Barbie.  And her airplane.  I think I made her and Ken kiss.  A lot.  LOL

17) Favourite season?
Oh dear, I'm going to have to get over this.  My favorite season is all of them - I really love the changing of the season - I suppose if I had to pick a favorite it would be spring..
18) Do you ever get letters delivered by the post office? Yes, do you?  What are you, lonely?  Need me to mail you a letter?  Oh.  Wait.  letters.  No.  not like snail mail letters - I get bills in the mail.  Cards.  But letters?  No.  That's a lost art.  I could write you one if you like, though. 
19) When was the last time you laughed hard? ooooh yeah.  I'm going to laugh.  I'm going to laugh you so hard... oh.  Wait.  Wrong answer.  Um.... last week.  Yeah.  yeah.  that's it. 
20) What is on the floor of your closet?
Carpeting - what were you expecting, a dead body or something? 
21) Are you any good at drawing?
My name is Simon.  I like drawing!  Are you looking at my bum?  Bum looker!  Cheeky monkey bum looker!

22) What did you do last night?
Your Dad.  LOL  ... I know - you probably thought I'd say "your mom"...  I'd probably make a great lesbian - but I just can't get past the whole vajay-jay thing.  I like peni... oh.  Wait.  Last night.  Watched TV.  Cleaned a bit. 

23) What are you most afraid of?
Dying alone.  
24) Plain,cheese or spicy hamburger?
Spice it up baby! 
I like mine with lettuce and (forget the) tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big yummy pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good god almighty which way do I steer??
25) Favourite dog breed? One that doesn't eat my house?  I love labs, and we had a couple of the Lhasa ahpso's growing up - they were awesome dogs, too.

26) Favorite day of the week?
Every one that I wake up, get out of bed on my own accord, and can have a cup of coffee to start my day.  I bet you were thinking I was going to say one of the weekend days, weren't you?  Silly cheeky monkey!
27) How many states / provinces / countries have you lived in? 
Two, MA and MI.  I miss the ocean.  
28) Diamond or pearl? 
What's that saying?  "pearls before swine?"  Diamonds are a girls best friend.  The sparklier the better ;-) 
29) What is your wish for this new year?
To lose this damn food baby that I've gained.  Or that shows more now that the girls are gone.  Which reminds me, shit, I'm supposed to be at the gym.  Right now.  Dammit.   
30) New year resolutions

Um.  Really?  Is this the Department of Redundancy Department?  Just for that... I give you this, Mr. Lance - just for you ...



Saturday, January 19, 2013

Random Saturday Thoughts...

I've been thinking about age a lot this week.  I'm 48.  I don't feel old.  Except when I realize that my cousin (who is also my godchild) is going to be 30 in March.  Yikes.  30.  And she was born the year I graduated from High School.  Which means that it'll be my 30th reunion this year.  And that's more than a yikes, that's a holy shit - THIRTY YEARS. 

Thirty years ago, I was thinking about what I'd do after high school.  I was warned early on - find your own money for college or 30 days to get a full time job and start paying room & board.  Yup.  That's what I was told.  So college for me, at that time, wasn't an option.  I was 17.  What did I know about finding money for college.  I had no help from my parents.  They were too absorbed in how much they didn't like each other.   I had an older sister that was in college - but she knew what she wanted to do - and for the record?  She dated a guy that showed up at our back door wearing pants with whales on them.
 My older brother was in the Navy - he was given some opportunities, but had to back out because (big surprise) my parents wouldn't help him.  He actually had an interview that my uncle set up with Al Wang - you know - Wang Laboratories?  But my mother wouldn't let him use her car to go to it.  Seriously?  Yeah...  That was my life.  It was a mess.  Oh, and I was thinking how much I wanted to go back to Greece.  I had a boyfriend there.  We wrote each other letters.  LOL  We communicated in German - he didn't know English, I didn't know Greek.  But he was dreamy.  Oh.. so.... dreamy....   That was one good thing that my parents did - let me go to Greece for a month with my BFF.  She was from there, and her parents had a house there, so they paid for the plane ticket - that was my graduation gift.  Ahhhhhh Greece.  Ahhhhh Tony...  I wish I had made different choices that month.  I'm not going to elaborate.  LOL

Let's see.  What was I doing 20 years ago...  I was 27.  Oh, wait.  That was the half-decade of bad choices.  We won't go there.  Maybe I'm thankful that it was only half a decade, instead of a full one?  LOL

Ten years ago?  Working in a law firm.  Thinking that there had to be so much more.  Looking for love where I wasn't going to find it.

Now?  I'm in a house that I'm finally considering "home".  My kid is happy.  He's back in touch with at least one of his siblings (as a result of his father's "LIFE of bad choices")..  He no longer has a desire to meet his father - after being told "no offense, but your father is a douchebag" - he got to hear the truth about him, and not from me, which is so important.
I'm actually going to continue to paint, decorate, find a job that I love, and settle into a life that I've made for myself.  Maybe it's time to start dating.  It'd be nice to have someone there.  I think I'm ready for that.  Although, most guys my age want the trophy wife/girlfriend at this point - and I'm not either of those.   But I'm special, dammit.  And not short bus special.

And the mail is here.  Happy Saturday.  Enjoy the weekend, and I'll be back tomorrow with the Sunday meme... :)

Meg Ryan? Really? I'm still not seeing it...

1) Has anyone ever told you that you resemble a celebrity?
I used to drive a jeep, and was told once that I looked like Linda Hamilton in her Terminator Days, and when I had a spiral perm, I guess I looked like Meg Ryan.  Not for nothing'... I'd be OK looking like either of them!  LOL

2) Is there an actress or actor whose movies you make it a point to see?
Just the ones that I've slept with..

3) We're stopping for refreshments before we go in to see the movie. What's your refreshment stand order?
Large diet and a side order of hustle with that please..

4) When did you last consume an alcoholic beverage? What was it?
Last night.  With your mom.  Cherry something sangria.  It was tasty..

5) Are you jumpy? Do you startle easily?
Seriously?  No.  I'll scare the shit out of you any day, though..  LOL

6) Do you wear a watch?
Nope.  Haven't since July of 2003 - I got laid off from my job, and walked out - took it off, and said "never again".  Never again will I be a slave to a little band wrapped around my wrist.  Ever.  

7) When was the last time you tried a new restaurant?
I went to a place in Chicago.  But it wasn't new.  Just new to me.  Define new, willya?

8) What color is your wallet?
Red.  RED RED RED - whore red, if you must be specific.  LOL

9) How much does it have in coins right now?
Prolly a buck three eighty.  How much is in yours?
Happy Saturday :)

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Tim McGraw has a great ass..

Saturday 9: We Owned the Night 
Want to play?  Click -->HERE<-- along="along" b="b" nbsp="nbsp" play="play" to="to">

1) Can you recall a time when you danced and romanced like you "owned the night?"
 Nope.  Oh wait... no.  Not that night either.  I'm hopeless.  Ooh, there was that one night... oh, nope.  Not that one either.  Dammit.  What am I missing out on?

2) Samantha Winters admits she earned the name "Crazy Sam" during her party girl days in the 1980s. But now she's in bed by 11:00 PM. Do you have a regular bedtime?
During the week?  Usually 10, 11 if I'm feeling crazy.  Back in the 80's though?  Whoo hoooo it was just CAraazy!  I used to work 3-11, and that schedule leads to a lot of nonsense.  That's all I'm going to say.  LOL

3) Lady Antebellum is one of the most popular acts in country music. Do you often listen to country music?
I've actually gone to see Lady A in concert, they opened up for Tim McGraw.  Want to see his bum?  He's got a very VERY nice bum...

4) Are you responding to this meme on a desktop or laptop or phone or tablet?
Desktop - and do you have ANY idea how long it took to find the picture of that man's ass?  Forever.  And just so you don't miss it - look at the guy's face between his legs.  Classic.  LOL

5) How often do you check your horoscope?
Never - want to check it for me and get back to me?

6) Congratulations! You just won a trip to Switzerland! Is your passport up to date?
No but yay!  I can go visit Aunt Jane, and see the Swiss Alps, and have a lovely time!  I'm geeked.  Where are my tickets, bitch?

7) Do you know how to snow ski?
Yes, but we don't talk about it.  Moguls.  Oh the moguls...

8) What's the first beverage you drink in the morning?
You obviously don't know me.  It's coffee.  Lots and lots of coffee....

9) Are you a good speller?
I'll admit it.  I judge.  There is a difference between there, they're and their.  I know it.  Do you?

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Good God - it's Adam Levine, y'all!

click ---> HERE <--- a="a"> to play along :)

Today we ripped off a blogger named Gina from the blog The Journey to Olivia. It is 40 questions, so we will do it in two parts.  She does not state where she found the meme. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing! 
Sunday Stealing: 40 of The Most Random Questions Meme, Part One 

1) What side of the heart do you draw first? 
Seriously?  What are we, in 5th grade?  Kathy and blah-blah TLA - with the T turning into the L, turning into the A....   I don't draw hearts.  Although, maybe I should.  Maybe that's  why I 'm single, because I don't draw hearts and have mushy conversations with myself and practice kissing on trees... oh.  Wait.  That's Mary Katherine Gallagher.   Never mind..
2) Can you dive without plugging your nose? 
Does a bear poop in the woods?  I'm not liking these questions so far...
3) What color is your razor? 
OMG.  Of COURSE it's pink.  I'm a pretty pretty princess, remember??
4) What is your blood-type?
Whatever the universal one is, AB+, I think?  What's your sign?

5) Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? 
I need more information.  Tied as in tied at the neck, the arms, like in a one-legged race - it depends - if I'm tied at the neck with someone then I want Maguyver or however you spell that guys name.  If I'm tied at the crotch with someone - and we're facing each other?  A toothbrush and Adam Levine.  At the butt?  Someone comfortable.  Come on, more details...
6) What is a rumor someone has spread about you?
 Really?  In which decade?  Would you like to know how I supposedly slept with half of the Boston Police Dept?  Or how I stole money from my ex?  Or took advantage of him, and took him for everything I could?  Oh, how about... nah.... too good.. LOL  And for the record - NONE of them are true...
7) How do you feel about carrots? How do I FEEL about them?  I didn't know we ever had to associate a feeling toward vegetables.  I don't hate them, like those vile brussel sprouts, but I don't embrace them like a long lost cousin, either...
8) How many chairs at the dining room table? 
I don't have a dining room, but I do have an "oh my GOD you'd love this table" table in my kitchen.  Want to see a picture?  Here...  Don't mind the mess..  And it seats 6 with the chairs it came with, but you can easily fit another 4 around it..

9) Which is the best Spice Girl?  Who the hell cares?  But I will tell you my favorite spice lately is a toss up between Tastefully Simple's Seasoning Salt and the Howling Horseradish (I've had it and hadn't used it - but it is UNbelievable in a bloody Mary)...
10) Do you know what time it is?  Yeah, time for YOU to get a watch if you're asking me.  Let's just say I slept in, OK?
11) Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince Theme Song?  No.  Do you know all the words to The Big Bang Theory?  See.  Didn't think so.
12) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?  Depends.  Am I stuck in there tied to Adam Levine?  In that case, then I'd like the aforementioned toothbrush, please - and that 24 hours as well.  LOL
13) What’s your favorite kind of gum?  "Ladies don't chew gum"...  straight from my Grandmother.  I don't chew it. 
14) All’s fair in love and war? 
I suppose?  But if I were given those 24 hours, I'm sure we'd find out.  But I will say - hell hath NO fury..
15) Do you have a crush on anyone?  Really?  Do I need to spell it out for you?


16) Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning?  I try not to use words unless I know what they mean.  Because otherwise, I'll have some Inigo Montoya type telling me all the time "you keep using that word.. I do not think it means what you think it means"...
17) Do you like to sleep?  Duh... Do you like to live?
18) Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings time?  Indiana, Hawaii and a couple of others.  And I'm in MI, which is EST and really should be CST.  Just sayin'...
19) Do you know the words to the song Total Eclipse of the Heart?
if it came on the radio, I'm sure I'd sing along - right before I changed the station.  That's dumb...
20) Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang? 
Do I want to be back in High School and drive a car that makes me feel like I have a big penis?  No.  I'd rather drive a cooler than shit 69 Mustang convertible.  Now that.  THAT would make me happy.  And probably attract a guy with a big penis.  Although, at this point, I'm sure it's like riding a bike - but what the hell would I do with it??  LOL

Happy Sunday all! 

Saturday, January 5, 2013

I'm a pretty pretty princess

Saturday 9: Brand New Me

1) It's a brand new year! Do you have any resolutions for 2013?
I try not to have resolutions, because they always get broken.  But this year I've committed to try and keep my mouth shut more - and try and keep some opinions to myself.  If you know me, you get that.  LOL

2) Dusty Springfield sang of feeling "brand new." What leaves you feeling refreshed and/or rejuvenated?
I have to admit, there's nothing like a whole "shit, shower, shave" morning.  Oh and coffee.  Can't forget the coffee.  

 3) Dusty's given name was Mary Catherine. If you could give yourself a brand new first name, what would it be?
Huh, well figuring mine is Kathleen Mary - she was doing pretty good there.  I once tried to get everyone to call me Katie.  I really liked Katie.  I thought I was cute and perky like a Katie.  Apparently my neighborhood thought I was NOT cute and perky like a Katie, and I was spawn of the devil.  I think I was a little mischievous as a child LOL

 4) Actor Billy Bob Thornton has dismissed antiques, saying, "I'm creeped out by old stuff." Do you ever shop at estate sales, yard sales or second-hand stores? Or do you want everything brand new?
Billy Bob Thornton creeps me out.  I love having a mix of old and new in my house.  Now if I could just figure out how to put them all together so it looks like one of those HGTV homes, I'd be all set.

 5) Are you sad to see the holiday decorations slowly disappear until next year? Or do you think they should come down on January 2?
Santa in the snow globe on the front lawn needs to go.  I have lights around my breakfast bar that stay up all year long, though.  They're cool.  

6) Do you like the picture on your photo ID?
I'm a pretty pretty princess - why wouldn't I like it?

7) Crazy Sam shudders at the very thought of a snake. Which is your least favorite member of the Animal Kingdom?
Bugs.  Bugs creep me out.  And those freaking tree frogs in the summer that jump and stick on my front door that jump off when I open the door.  Those freak me out. 

 8) What's the most recent magazine you flipped through?
Some rag

9) Do you have nice handwriting?
Duh... I'm a pretty pretty princess - we always have nice handwriting!

Happy New Year!