Sunday, April 26, 2009

blatant ask for help/donations/etc.....

I'm not going to hide it. I'm doing the Relay for Life again this year. Josh and I did it last year, and raised a good amount of money, spent some time with great friends, made new ones, and also had a lot of fun. This year, he has discussed being "Mr. Relay" even! LOL Please check out my page, donate if you can, and if you can't - that's ok too. Times are tough for everyone.

And if you're a weirdo internet stalker and look up my name, etc. through here and come stalk me - well then I might have to whup you upside the head. LOL Then I'll tell everyone I have a stalker. I'll look cool. You won't. You'll have a giant lump on the side of your head and 25 crazy women beating the shit out of you.

So here goes....

Hi! I want to let you know about a fantastic event I'm involved with this year - Relay For Life.

Please donate to my fundraising efforts. Check out my personal page
HERE to find out more info or to make a secure tax-deductible contribution. There is also a web page about my team to give you a better idea of what Relay For Life is all about. Thanks in advance for your support.

Relay For Life is a wonderful community event that raises money to combat this disease and to spread awareness about how we can protect ourselves from cancer. It is a fun-filled event that brings together people of all ages to camp-out and take turns walking around a track for 24 hours to signify that cancer never sleeps. It's a time of celebrating those who have battled the disease, remembering those who have died and a chance to fight back against a disease that takes too much from too many.

Together, we will celebrate, remember, and fight back!

Somebody shoot me...

OK - so we've got this dog. You can read about his beginnings here. Needless to say - he came back a week later.

I feel bad for the dog, he's been outside, traumatized, all that. So I cut him some slack in the training department, at least until the weather is warmer. Which it is now. I get a little hook up thing for outside - put him on it - he's got like 20 ft. to run around. His response? To chew up the new sod and leave holes in my grass. And when I let him back in the house? He promptly shits in the place that I just cleaned up the last shit that he did. And pees. Wherever he wants. Once? He peed on my couch - but that was because the babysitter scared him.
My house? Now smells like ASS.

I might kill the dog. Anyone want a Chihuahua?

Oh yeah - he eats shoes, too. And one time, a pair of underwear was halfway downstairs and I know I didn't do it.

Fucking dog.

More tales from the crypt.....

Kids, don't try this at home.

So I switched from traffic to probation a couple of weeks ago. Best.


Probation is SO much more fun. And the stories? Oh my...

I (help) do the morning PBT's on our clientele - there are 3 of us in the office. And the PBT's for those that don't know - breathalyzers. In the morning. You'd be surprised at how many are more than .000, which is what they SHOULD be at 9:30 in the a of the m. I did one this week, and when the kid came in, he was standing uncomfortably close to me, but I just figure he's a close talker, whatever - you know the type. He blows a .136. For the record - .08 is legally intoxicated. And this kid blew a 136 at 9:30 in the morning. Either he'd been up drinking early, or up late drinking a lot - you do the math. Whoops. So I wait 15 min. and do it again. .135 - and THEN he says to me "is there a problem? I've been drinking a lot of cough syrup"... Um, really? A FEW GALLONS of it maybe??? Dumbass.

Rule #1 - if you're on probation for MIP (minor in possession of alcohol) and have to take a breathalyzer in the morning that you meet with your PO? Don't stay up until all hours of the night drinking.
Rule #2 - if you DO stay up until all hours of the night drinking? Just don't show up. It's worse if you do show up, still drunk.
Rule #3 - certainly don't DRIVE to the courthouse.
Rule #4 - don't think we're stupid. Not only can they all smell it on you - they're all trained to watch for the signs.

Another one came and checked in - I gave him his papers to fill out, and then 20 min. later about 5-6 sheriff's show up in the waiting room - I buzz them into us and ask what the heck is going on. They're looking for a guy with a blue running suit that has a felony firearm warrant. Really? I could swear I just checked him in, but I look out and don't see a blue running suit. So we're talking, mentioning his name, etc. and I look up and a guy in a gray t-shirt is quietly making his way to the door - and I say - "Oh - hey! there he is - gray t-shirt!"... They all go running. Turned out? In the process of robbing a place (obviously armed) he didn't expect that the people he was robbing would have a gun and start shooting at him. Whoops. So he shoots back. And hits his buddy that is between him and the people shooting at him. And his buddy dies. Whoops again.
Lessons here?
#1 - don't rob
#2 - don't bring a gun if you're going to commit a felony
#3 - if you friend gets between you and someone shooting at you - DON'T SHOOT YOUR FRIEND
and finally.... #4 - if you DO happen to do all of the above, *unless you want to get caught by the po-po* don't go to the f**king courthouse to sign yourself up for probation for something else you've done! Dumbass.

See? Way better stories than traffic.

These are just a few tales.... I'm sure there will be more.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

oh my....

Apparently I missed a few great shows..

Had I gotten a present for my 40th birthday - this would have been it (will explain this later). LOL
Thanks to Clark that posted it on Youtube. I love you Clark. ROFL

Here's another from a couple of nights before. Where's the smiley for slamming my head against a brick wall??

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Friday Fill in!

Yep. Fun time again :)
Click here to play along and thanks to Janet!

1. Apparently there's some sort of really cool movie coming out soon.

2. Waitin' on a sunny day, which is what tomorrow is going to be and Saturday in the 80's! Yay! (and Erin - you know there was no possible other answer for me LOL)

3. 2009 really hasn't sucked so far.

4. When I was a kid, I thought being older than 30? that was it. (I know better now) :)

5. For too long I've been in a funk. I'm out of that now and ready to start living my life again :) I feel like I'm getting back to "me" again.

6. I am not obsessed with Bruce Springsteen, LOST, and taking cool pictures; I am not!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to enjoy NO HOMEWORK!!! , go to a *relay for life meeting* and hope that the K-Wings win in Ft. Wayne, tomorrow my plans include seeing the K-Wings play (and hopefully win) after enjoying the 80+ weather :)and Sunday, I want to do NOTHING!!

Oh, and my accounting final? I got a 96. Woot! I think I'll end up with a B in the class - yay!! And I'm taking the summer off from classes - so I'll have more time to bother everyone here lol

Happy Friday!!

An oldie but goodie... Wordless Wednesday

can't you just FEEL the joy?

Sunday, April 19, 2009


OK - so I've become friends with people on Facebook that I haven't seen/heard of/from in years. Like years years. High school years, before the boy was born years - you get it. So that brings back memories. Some good, some not so good, some that were bad at the time but now? They're damn funny.

I've found out that one girl on prom night actually lost her virginity in front of a whole bunch of us - who KNEW??? (and ew...)... not me.

That I looked pretty damn good at my 20th reunion - or at least in that one picture. LOL That was a good time, too - I did the walk of shame about 5AM and told my roommates at the hotel that I got back about 2 and had been SLEEPING that whole time... whoops.. ROFL (little did they know....)


It brings back memories of my date with Steve. A guy that I had been *seeing* back in the day when I thought sex equated love, boy did I learn a harsh lesson on that one. But that's a tale for another day.
My friend M.A. asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said "a *real* date with Steve"... Because we'd meet at the bar after work, get drunk and end up. well. You know... Certainly not dating in the real sense, certainly not *seeing* each other like I called it.. but anyway. That's what I wanted. A real date with Steve. And my birthday was on a Monday that year.
Let's start with the hair... I had multi-colored hair from perms, colors, highlights, you name it - I had a lot going on.
I spent Sunday coloring my hair. I thought I'd go with like a honey blonde, look cute for my *date* and Steve would just love me. Yeah. When the washing was done, I ended up with something along the color lines of this:

I cried. M.A. laughed. Our friend John said "nice olive drab there, Kath". And he was kind of a clueless guy, so if he noticed, everyone would....
So I found a salon on Monday that stripped everything out of it, then dyed it darker. Hair taken care of - but it was an omen that I should have listened to...

So cut to Monday night.
I get all dressed up in a miniskirt, put on stockings (you know, the ones that don't go all the way up) and borrow M.A.'s trench coat because it might rain. I was looking hot, or so I thought..
We go out to eat, lovely. Dinner was a bit forced - I don't think it was what Steve really wanted to do, but I give the guy credit - he did it. We go to the House of Blues for the Monday night bluesfest - which is awesome, all blues, all the time - no break between bands. I actually met Peter Wolf that night from J. Geils - and he's got the absolute WORST handshake of anyone I've ever met. Yuck. Anyway... Steve sits there and is being pensive or something - either way, he's not saying much to me. So I start talking to the guy next to me on the other side, telling him how I'm on a date with Steve, that I heart him, that he's not talking, blah blah blah blah blah - someone should have stuck a sock in my mouth - because the whole time, I'm drinking. And I didn't eat much dinner because I'm realizing that the date is not so much fun for Steve. So I drank more. And THEN the guy asks me if I want to see the upstairs which is backstage for them. So I say "SURE!"... not thinking anything of it. We go, he grabs my boob and tries to lock himself in the bathroom with me - scares the shit out of me, and somehow I escaped (literally). I go back downstairs and tell Steve what happened, and he's got no sympathy, telling me that he almost left me there. Huh? Remember, I'm drunk. I'm on a date with Steve - at my request, and I'm drunk. So I don't get why he'd be mad. I thought it was all innocent backstage. My bad. The guy was a dink. So then Steve stops talking to me altogether and we leave. The whole ride home - not a word. I think that was the end of he and I *seeing* each other, I'm not sure. There are a couple of years there that got a bit blurry...
But the comedic factor here? Is that M.A. STILL laughs about me getting out of his jeep and crossing the street toward our apartment, I've got mascara streaked down my face, drunk off my ass, with one stocking around my ankle and barely walking and she's all "how was your date?!!".. I think I told her to fuck off as I walked past her...

M.A.'s quote when I sent her a link to this blog?? "Do I remember? I still laugh thinking of you staggering out of the jeep with the stocking flapping around your ankle!!!!" Such a good friend, eh?

Ahhhhhhhh youth. What the hell was I thinking???

and Steve? Is happily married with 3 kids. We're friends on facebook now. LOL

funny stuff....

now go vote for Pseudo (see link below) - she only needs 1 more vote to be in 2nd place!!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Hey! You... yeah, you!!

Go vote for my friend Pseudo over HERE

don't be an ass, She's awesome. :). Just do it. Yeah - you too, juror #12. You too...

Some Saturday silliness....

FIRST... the most important news EVER... My friend Pseudo is having a Hawaiian goodie box giveaway. Go check it out - but then check out Pseudo - she is an amazing wonderful person that you're sure to adore!! But don't get too attached to the prize, I have plans for that goodie box. Dammit. LOL

I did this survey last night over at Facebook, and really - I'm worried about follower #12 (ooh, I wonder if someone thought that she was a juror and took her out, gangland style?). I'm going to try and get her back. I wonder what happened to her. Maybe reading this will make her realize that I'm funny. I'm amusing. Or wait. Was I serious in all of these answers? Enjoy. Don't make anything come out your nose. LOL

Oh, and you're all tagged. All 12 of you. ROFLMAO

Because my homework was done for the night.... I did a survey! Maybe I should have done an in-depth post instead.. But I like this.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
6:30 or so. It's not what time I get up - it's what time I leave that's important.

2. How do you like your steak?
Cow=dead. Steak=seasoned/rubbed and then slathered with Heinz 57 steak sauce. Then grilled to a medium-rare perfection, still pink on the inside, a bit juicy and hot DAMN I'm hungry now!

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Aliens vs Monsters

4. What is your favorite TV show
Lost - I'm still that show's bitch. Probably will be for another year or so.

5. What did you have for breakfast?
mmmmmm triple grain crisps

6. What is your middle name?
Mary, what's it to you?

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
cooked. Food and I really have such a great relationship that I don't want to discriminate. Well, I'm not a big fan of Indian food - just the smell of curry makes me want to spin my head around in circles and vomit green stuff

8. What foods do you dislike?
See above. I guess I should have read ahead, huh? What a dumbass I am..

10. Favorite dressing?
Un? Seriously, who thinks these questions up? Who CARES what my favorite dressing is, really? But if you DID care, it's the one that I make with the EVOO, balsamic, dijon mustard, fresh garlic and a bit of tarragon. Damn good stuff if you ask me. Hey! You DID ask me!

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Jeep. I want another Wrangler, but not the car payment that would go along with it. Anyone know a sweet rich old man that would like me to watch after him in his waning days?

12. What are your favorite clothes?
sweats. Another dumb question.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation?
with Ashley and Danielle. LOL

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
depends on what is in it. If it's spit from someone chewing tobacco - it's too full any way you look at it. If it's nice cold beer and I've drank half of it - dammit, give me more. If it's V8 with tabasco, it's missing the vodka and therefore - again, half empty. See? Without more details, I can't answer this honestly.

15. Where would you want to retire?
somewhere warm. Without bugs. Cuz God knows I hate freaking bugs.

16. Favorite time of day?
Just when you start to wake up and realize how damn comfortable you are because at some point during the night, all the pillows aligned and everything was right with the world. Well, that's when you're sleeping alone. When you're not? I love that first part of the morning when it's just me, my coffee and the dog. I love to sit and look out the back windows, over the vast wilderness of dirt that is my yard, and just dream. Dream of what might have been, of what could be, and what it might feel like to jab a red hot poker through my right eyeball into my brain. Oh, wait. I'm sorry. That's the book I was reading! ROFLMAO

17. Where were you born?
Um. I think in a hospital room. Jesus. It was only '65. People knew something about birthin' babies back then.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Red Sox, baby! Although the K-Wings ARE in the playoffs, the Bruins ARE in the playoffs and I haven't kept up with the Celtics. Bad Boston fan. Bad! Bad!

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
WTF is up with this tagging crap. Tag 'em in, tag 'em out.

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
Again.... see #19.

21. Pepsi or Coke?
how? with aspirin? through my nose? What the hell kind of question is this?

22. Bird watcher?
Yellow throated red-bellied thrusters. Yeah. That's what I like. With binoculars.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Depends on what we're talking about here. A morning - "hey let's go drink our faces off" person? I think not... A night "I think I'm going to have some breakfast and coffee" person? Um. yeah. No.
Be more specific.

24. Do you have any pets?
Does a small rat-like creature called a Chihuahua count? What about a 12 year old boy?

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
ooh! ooh! I'm pregnant.


26. What did you want to be when you were little ?
A princess, a police officer, veterinarian, librarian, teacher and a mom. Good thing one of them worked out.

27. What is your best childhood memory?
That time that I kicked Sue Felton's ASS when she stuck her finger in my face. Oh. Wait, that's right. I was a chicken shit and snuck out the side fence and ran home. Whoops. I have a lot of good ones from the Lang's and the Leary's.

28. Are you a cat person or a dog person?
snails are nice.

29. Beer or Margarita?
I have memory issues with tequila (right Lisa?) - I stick to what I know best and drink beer.

30. Always wear your seat belt?
Well, when I'm in the car, at least. I can't claim to always wear it in the back seat, but then again, I'm not in the back seat that often these days.

31. Been in a car accident?
A number. The latest was in front of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences. You figure that one out if you don't know what/where it is. Suffice it to say it was NOT my fault.

32. Favorite Restaurant?
mmmmmmmm Lakeside's garlic, chicken, roasted red pepper & onion pizza. But of course he had to be an ASS and not pay his taxes. Dumbass.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
See #32. What am I, ESP'ing the answers to the next questions or something. Weird.

34. Favorite Flower?
Lillies, anything bright colored that can distract me from the grayness of my life.. sniff sniff....

35. Favorite ice cream?
mmmm just ate a neato minty fresh skinny cow. Really - how many skinny cows have you ever seen. Is that insulting to skinny people or cows or both?

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
the fries at Taco Bell

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?

38. From whom did you get your last email?
Stan Asen, who apparently would like to talk to me about getting a huge pecker. Stan, what I've been doing hasn't worked, maybe I should mix things up a bit. I think I'll reply to him or at least click on the link he gave me...

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Lowes. Pottery Barn.

40. Bedtime?
for the boy, yes, but I'm going to stay up a bit later, thanks.

41. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
not sure what you mean by that. Are you implying that I have no life and are going to sit by the computer, waiting for someone to respond? I haven't even decided who I'm going to take for the damn thing and you're asking me to predict who's going to RESPOND??? Dionne Warwick and her Psychic friends network got cancelled - they are NOT running around inside my head. So fuck off. Yeah. Freak.

42. Broccoli?
Ink blot test?

43. What was your favorite vacation?
The last one, definitely. Although Alaska ranks up there pretty high.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Lesley. We went to dinner. That's right. And we're not lesbians, either.

45. What are you listening to right now?
silence.... it's pretty nice.

46 What is your favorite color?
Well, I can tell you what it's not. It's not BLUE, that's for damn sure!!

47. How many tattoos do you have?
one. what's it to you? It's a gang symbol.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
am I done?

50. Coffee drinker?
hells yeah...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Friday Fun time!

OK - somewhere along the line, I lost a reader! Hmmph. Oh well. I didn't want them anyway! LOL

It's been a busy, crazy week - and Tuesday is my final for accounting, then I'll have all sorts of silly time to blog. So watch out!!

In the meantime, you'll have to be happy with the Friday Fill-Ins, courtesy of Janet. If you'd like to play along, click HERE we go!

1. Join me in wishing the Boston Bruins the best of luck with Game 2 Saturday night!!.

2. Put a little fiber in your day! It makes you feel so much better when you have regular, well, you know.... poops..

3. Happiness is a great state of mind to be in :).

4. Sad, pathetic and confused. You know who you are. Just own it, willya? Stop pretending. LOL

5. I'm waiting for the 2nd coming of Christ? Christmas? My birthday? Lots of things. OOH! OOH! I know!! Mind blowing sex. That's what I'm waiting to give up my new-found virginity for. ROFL

6. Bad food is hard to resist, but I've done well, and lost almost 13 lbs of that "I quit smoking and gained a few pounds" weight.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to doing NOTHING (well, except a little homework), tomorrow my plans include hockey, hockey and more hockey and Sunday, I want to celebrate some wins, dammit! Oh, and finish my homeowrk LOL!

Sunday, April 12, 2009


Missing theManda already, and her crazy little doggie that is just so darn cute. Home... away from the ocean. Back to reality. To a new job. Back to school. Back to all the responsibilities of being an adult.
But oh my gosh it was so fun not to give a shit for a week!! The boy and I got along so well, and the high point of my week was looking over the first time on Space Mountain, and seeing his face and hearing him yell "YEAH!!!!".... that did it for me. This, the kid that freaked out at the ET ride the last time we went to Disney/Universal (when he was 7). He refused to go on any rides other than, oh, say the DUMBO ride.... It took over 2 hours to get him to even let me get the Fast Passes for Space Mt., and even THEN he was still saying he wouldn't go on it. Until the Matterhorn. He went on it. Didn't have a long enough line to think about it. And he loved it. And when I told him that Space Mt. was like that, only inside? All was right with the world. And when he insisted on sitting in the front the 2nd time on Big Thunder Mountain? I knew we were going to be OK. But seeing his face, and hearing that YEAH!? That was just golden. Then he insisted on going again - AND sitting in the front.
What I thought was going to be a 4 hour Disney visit turned into a 14 hour, my feet are killing me - but what a hell of a day!
He's turned the corner. Now... NOW my child will go on roller coasters with me. :)

Life is good.

Friday, April 10, 2009

What a week... so far!

What an awesome vacation so far.

The boy has been obsessed with taking pictures of fancy cars, which of course, us being in Southern Cali - has been easy. The closer we get to LA, the more fancy cars. The more half-dashboard, have-Porsche pictures I have. He did, however, get a full on of the orange "Lambo" as he calls it. LOL

Not sure what the highlight has been yet.

Could be any of these:

Seeing Amanda in her apartment that is STEPS from the beach, gotta love it!!

Seeing and smelling the ocean for the first time in over a year, God I miss that!

Watching the boy get all excited over an orange Lambo, and then a Porsche, and O M G a Ferrari dealership!

Getting rear-ended right outside the Academy. Yes - *THE* Academy. Here. I'll even post a picture of it.
Posted by Picasa

Maybe it was the Warner Bros tour where we got to see Simon Baker. Had I not been so goofy and saying "oooh ooh ooooh!" waving and hitting the boy, I would have called out "Simon" and he could have come over and signed an autograph for us. As it is, I got a picture of the back of his head. BUT... two seconds earlier, he was looking right at us. Damn it. Who knew I'd lose my voice at such a momentous occasion? We LOVE the Mentalist, by the way. Looooooooove it!

Or maybe it was just hanging with Mom for a week, no drama, no fights (well, no big ones)... and now getting woken up to go see the little rat Mouse known as Mickey. :)

Happy Good Friday! More pictures later. But a great time is being had by all, believe you me!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Friday, April 3, 2009

ahhhhhhhhhhh vacation.....

I'm officially on vacation. Even though I have homework and a 5 page paper on Cybersquatting due next week. LOL But I'm on vacation from WORK.
When I started my job a year ago, I wasn't allowed to take time off for 6 months. Which made for a verrrrrrrrry long summer, not only for me but for the boy also. I promised him a great spring break this year to make up for it.

Tomorrow afternoon, we get on a plane and we go here:

We're going to stay with theManda, also known as Stella - who moved there a couple of months ago and check out her new digs, which apparently are close to this (and not necessarily this exact one, but you get my point):

We're going to Legoland, maybe Sea World, maybe some caves, maybe some kayaking. Doesn't matter. We're on vacation. :)

Then we're going here:

And here:

And finally here:

And when I get back? I have a new job. I will no longer have the wonderful stories about traffic people, but will have new and more interesting stories about peeps on probation. LOL Should be interesting... :)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Moving again....

I've decided that I am making another move...

As much as I love Michigan, I need warmer weather. I'm putting the house on the market, and Tennessee, HERE I COME!!!

More later

LOL April Fool's!!! :)