Sunday, December 30, 2012

Bring on the New Year!

Wow. Time flies. It seemed like yesterday I was writing my 2011 post, and I just went back and read it. So much can change in a year!  My friend Barbara told me that once, and now I make a point of noticing.

So what has happened this year so far?  I redid the mortgage on my house, and decided to stay put for the time being. I'm no longer speaking to my siblings or my father. It's amazing how ugly people can get sometimes. It's also amazing how much better I sleep at night and how much LESS stress I have now that they are out of my life.  I decided to cut out the negativity, and just stopped banging my head against the wall.  My sister always been a controlling bitch, and now she adds martyr to it.  Good for her.  My brother (the one with ALS) is frankly, an ass.  And being sick hasn't changed that, unfortunately. My other brother is just an enigma that I'm sick of trying to figure out. It's unfortunate that he only cares when he himself needs support.  My father?  Meh...  Apparently he's a wonderful STEPfather, but not a great father.

My son no longer wants to see his "Dad".  That's huge. He got to see and spend time with one of his siblings this Christmas who told him that he (Kevin) was a douchebag.  It was never for me to say that, but good for him to hear from someone in the know.  He has a renewed sense of family though, which is wonderful.  My heart is so happy for him. I can't put too many details here because of some interesting ISPs that show up, but suffice it to say it was a highlight of our trip. :)

My job is still my job, but I know there are many without, so I appreciate it.  But that doesn't stop me from looking.  I have some projects that need to get done, and that is on my list of resolutions. No more unfinished projects!

I joined a gym. I'm going to go at least 3-4 times a week.

I reduced the size of the "girls". BEST decision ever. Not sure why I didn't do it years ago. If you're thinking about it - DO IT. you won't regret it.

Next up?  Dating.  LOLOLOL


Sunday, December 2, 2012

You're right - I can't pee standing up..

Sunday Stealing: The Not So Manly Meme

1. Boxers? Briefs? Boxer briefs? Thongs? Bikinis? Commando?
Wouldn't you like to know.. 

2. What’s your fussiest personal care routine?
Waking up?  Seriously.  I don't have time for that shit.
3. Do you have a favorite tool? Power or manual?
LMAO... there are so many places I could go with this...
4. Can you change your own oil? Do you?
Yes.  No.
5. What’s the “manliest / 'womenliest” thing you do on a regular basis?
Shave my legs and armpits
6. What’s something “manly” that you never learned how to do?
Shave my balls?  Pee standing up?
7. Do you ever cry? If so, what’s your trigger?
Yes.  Sad shit.
8. Do you have a chivalrous streak? How does it manifest itself?
I fight for the underdog - I am one of the nicest people that you will ever meet, but if you start to fuck with someone that can't or won't fight back - I'll annihilate your shit.   Just ask Vinnie the woman beater/ neighborhood bully.  I can't stand his sleazy car salesman ass - and he knows it.
9. Do you have a chauvinistic streak? How does it manifest itself?
Nah.........   Although, along the same lines of that - I do admit to stereotyping sleazy car salesmen.  Like Vinnie.  that lives in the neighborhood.  He is the epitome of one - and anyone that's ever looking for a car?  I'll send to their competition, or another salesperson at the same dealership.  LOLOLOLOL
10. What’s your favorite movie?
The one where that guy, you know - does that thing?
11. What’s the dumbest, testosterone-inspired thing you’ve ever seen?
I saw this yesterday:
And while they got lucky and it was almost 60 degrees out - if it had been cold, there would have been #1 a LOT of shrinkage and #2 a bunch of really freaking cold peeps
12. What quality do you think makes a good man good? Do you have that quality?
Honest, loyal, you know - all that mushy shit.  Do I?  I suppose..
13. Toilet seat up or down?
I don't like sinking into the water - down, please..
14. If your significant other is away, do you cook for yourself or eat out of cans and boxes (or rely on local drive-throughs and delivery)?
Do you not read my blog?  I do NOT have an SO.  Although - if you ask Vinnie in my neighborhood - he thinks I'm gay - because no straight woman could possibly stand up to him. LOL  
I'm a damn good cook.  'Nuff said..
15. What societal expectation of being a man / women do you most resent?
That women can't keep up or do the same things (with the exception of scratching their balls).  That's dumb. 
16. What’s the best part - societal-wise - about being a man / women?
17. Will you stop to ask for directions?
if I need them - but since I have a GPS and a smart phone?  I usually don't.
18. What’s one thing about your significant other that you just cannot understand, no matter how hard you try?
That bastard refuses to show his face
19. What do you need to have in the shower?
Water is usually a requirement.. then a drain... and some shampoo/conditioner and soap are good to have..
Speaking of all that - if you watch Revolution - how do they manage to look clean all the time? 
20. Do you burp/fart/scratch? Do you do anything stereotypically male?"Since you are computer savey.  I already know everything you do, say and post.   There is a reason I am the Internet Director"  These are Vinnie's words to me - so if I DID do anything stereotypically male, I couldn't put it here - that would just go along with his claim that I'm a lesbian.  

Have a happy day! 

Boobies or Barrel? The answer is obvious....

1) Have you ever danced the polka?
We used to spend quality time at Kramer's Hayloft.  Square Dancing.  I'm sure, at some point, there was polka involved.  But to my defense, I was young - I knew not what I was doing..

2) Frankie Yankovic was a stellar accordion player. What instrument have you mastered, or would like to learn?
I played the flute for 6+ years.  I could probably play something to save my life, but that's it. LOL

3) When Frankie died in 1998, his obituary proclaimed him as "America's Polka King." Lucille Ball was "The Queen of Comedy" and Michael Jackson was "The King of Pop." What royal title do you deserve?
Um, duh.  I'm Queen of The Universe, you didn't know that?

4) Do you like light beer?
Bud Light Lime.  It's my downfall, and usually involves me lifting my shirt or showing my tattoo.  But ask me about it, and I'll deny everything..

5) In 1901, daredevil Annie Taylor successfully went over Niagara Falls in a barrel. She was badly bruised but otherwise fine. How much money would it take for you do to do something that dangerous?
Are you fucking kidding me?  I have new boobies.  I'm not risking them for a barrel ride.  That's dumb.

6) When was the last time you visited a pet store?
Does a daycare count?

7) What's your favorite salad dressing?
My own raspberry vinaigrette.  It's darn tootin' delightful!

8)  Sam Winters is crazy about her smart phone. She uses it to take pictures, record videos, listen to tunes, answer emails and surf the net and, oh yeah, she even uses it to make calls. How indispensable is your mobile phone in your day-to-day life?
Hahahahahahahaaaa.... You know - if tomorrow the lights went out - other than the whole "people going crazy killing each other" stuff, I think I'd be OK.  It would force us to actually TALK to one another.

9) "Kocham ciÄ™" is "I love you" in Polish. Can you say "I love you" in a language other than English (and Polish)?
A few!  Greek, German, probably more - but shit, I don't remember.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

'Tis the Season..

Click here to play along!

1) Are you still feasting on cold turkey, or any other leftovers, from your Thanksgiving meal?
I have a little bit of the sides left - but my next "project" is to lose weight, and having all that stuff in the house doesn't help.  Little by little I'm getting it out of the house.  And since I didn't cook, I got to choose what I wanted to take home.  :)
2) AAA says Thanksgiving is a big travel weekend. Did you venture far from home for your holiday dinner?
Nah - about a mile and 1/2 down the road.  It's good to have peeps that are close :)

3) Is this weekend the official start of the Christmas season for you?
Not really.  I'm over the whole commercialization of Christmas.  I want to enjoy the season - not stress about gifts or spending money I don't have.  So while I enjoy the music - I'm not going to make myself nuts decorating or buying gifts.  Well, decorating, maybe.  LOL

4) Which couple would you rather hang out with -- Fred and Wilma Flintstone or George and Jane Jetson?
Oh jeez - that's a no brainer.  My feet like brake pedals - George and Jane.  Plus they had more electronic toys.  Oh, and bathrooms. 

5) Have you/would you ever get your teeth whitened?
Meh... I'm not sure.  They're not white white - but they're not meth black - but having been a smoker for a long time, I'm sure they have a little yellow to them.  Why, does it bother you?

6) Do you still have your high school class ring?
I never got one.  Didn't give a shit enough.  Either that or my parents refused to pay for it.  That's the more likely scenario.  I was told the day I turned 16 to get out and get a job, and start paying room & board.  Then if I wanted to go to college, to find the money myself.  Yeah.  They were so supportive and encouraged us to reach for the stars.   Really.  No seriously.  Yeah, you're right.  I'm lying. 

7) Here's $50. You must spend it all in one place. What are you going to do with it?
LOLOLOL  Maybe that should have been $500?  What was this written 10 years ago?  That won't even fill my gas tank!  But ooooh.... I love Home Goods.  Or Pier One.  To buy some cute Christmas decorations.  :)

8) Could your vehicle use a trip to the car wash right about now?
Oh, I'm sure. 

9) Did you hit the snooze button this morning?
Nope - I try not to use an alarm on the weekends unless I absolutely have to.  During the week, though - sure - I'll smack that like Akon.  LOL
Happy Saturday - hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

oh so Thankful.....

on this delightful day - it's 43 degrees.  I woke up on my own, got up on my own, walked downstairs on my own, made my own coffee in my nice Keurig - and now am in front of my computer.  I am so thankful for everything that made that possible - my health, technology, a job to pay for these things and most of all?  Juan Valdez and his coffee beans.  :)

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful, to spend time with loved ones, and to celebrate.  It's not about seeing how much you can stuff in your face in one sitting.  Although - some find that fun.  I'm not that into the tryptophan coma - so I pace myself.  :)

It's Thursday - so I'll do a Ten things Thursday (oooh - not a bad idea for a new meme.... eh?)...

Ten things I'm thankful for..

  • The ability to stand up for myself  - I love the saying "stand up for what you believe in, even if you stand alone"... I've done that - it's not pretty, but in the end - I win (in a manner of speaking)..  I get to wake up every day and look at myself in the mirror and be happy with what I see.  No regrets.
  • My job.  I may complain about it - because I'm bored occasionally - but you know what?  I have a job.  It pays me well.  There are many that don't have that. 
  • My friends.  I really love my friends - they are proof that there is good karma.  I have some of the best friends that they're really not just friends, they're family.  And considering what some of my family is like?  I've been blessed.  :)
  • My family.  My extended family.  While I am grateful for the ability to forgive (you can read about that here) my "immediate" family - I am grateful for my extended family of aunts, uncles, cousins and people that I just adore, and love spending time with. 
  • My niece.  I searched for her for years, and as fate would have it - she was right around the corner the whole time.  I should do a blog post on all that - sigh... some day.  But she is a wonderful young woman, and I am so thankful to have her in my life - and to show her that she wasn't ever forgotten. 
  • My son.  Oh, my son....  He keeps me on my toes.  LOL
  •  The ability to stand up for my son.  And the ability to be able to say "shame on you" to each and every person on his father's side of the family that knows about him and chooses to ignore his presence.  I'm working on the forgiveness there.  But I know that it's their loss - and he doesn't miss anything he's never known.  But still.  Shame on you. 
  • My neighbors.  I love my neighbors - and living in a neighborhood where I can leave my house open and not worry about it.  I don't have to lock my car at night.  It's truly a neighborhood where we enjoy spending time together, and look out for one another. 
  • Food.  I love food.  Good food.  I love being able to cook - and I know I'm a good cook.  Not just dips - but food food.  Mmmmmmm... now I'm hungry.
  • Last, but certainly not least - YOU.  I'm grateful for you.  You read here.  You care.  You laugh (hopefully).  You enjoy what I write.  And while there are some suspect ISP's that continue to pop up, and some strange searches that happen while some people are here - that's OK.  It's all part of the learning process.  LOL



Sunday, November 18, 2012

Laws schmaws...

 Sunday Stealing! <---- :=":" along="along" br="br" click="click" here="here" play="play" to="to">
 Have You’s and What Ifs!
1. Have you anything to confess today? 
No... do you?  What did you see?  Did you talk to someone?  WTF?  How did you find out?  That BASTARD!
2. have you ever broken a law? If so, what was it?
Depends... Are we going by the laws of man, laws of nature,  Constitutional laws?  I need clarification before I can answer this, because it depends on which laws you speak of..

3. have you ever committed an act of betrayal against a friend or family member? explain.
Oh Jesus Mary and Joseph.  No, actually - I'll answer this one honestly.  NO.  Although there was that one time I brought my nephew around my son's father (aka baby daddy/putz) (he was maybe 18 months old?) and as a result she threw me out of her house and called me a fucking whore.  Yup.  Because when her kid grows up and if he ever cheats on his wife - it'll be my fault, right?  For bringing him around that bad bad man.  When he was a baby.  We didn't speak for almost 3 years after that.  Yeah.  We had a great relationship.  Ahhhhh sisters..... Oh and for those curious - that was before the boy was a year old, and when he still made an effort.  Here's proof.... this is actually a picture from that very day..

4. Has someone else done something that, to this day, makes you cringe when you think about them committing the act?. 
I look at that picture above and wonder what the HELL was I thinking?

5. Have you ever found yourself sexually aroused by someone that you absolutely should not have been? 
oh see #4....
6. have you ever cheated at school? how so?
I'm sure.  Come on - anyone that says they never looked any someone else's answers is just lying.  Or a total brainiac..
7. What if you came across a backpack stuffed with one hundred thousand dollars. Would you keep it?
maybe.  maybe it was drug money, and nobody is going to claim it.  maybe I'd sit on it a bit, to see if anyone said it was lost - and if they do - THEN come forward.  I'll admit it.  Heck, I could use the money..
8. What if you were the most powerful person in the world. How would you use that power?
For good.  Not evil.  I swear.  I don't care if they have cookies over there - I would be GOOD, dammit!
9. What if you found a magic lamp?
Oh, I'd rub and rub and rub, and then probably become sexually aroused by the genie.  Come on - haven't you ever seen those guys?  They're hot.  I'd make him my sex slave.  oh.  Whoops.  no.  I'd make wishes.  That's it.  Wishes.

10. What if you could change one thing about the world. What would that one thing be?
People that so much as THINK about hurting a child are stopped before they can act.  Wouldn't that be awesome?  And then the abused kids that grow up to use that as an excuse for hurting others won't have that any more.  Then I bet a lot of hurt in the world would stop.

11. What if you could take one thing back. What would that one thing be? 
Hmmmmm, I'm not sure.  I like the things that I have, I probably wouldn't take back anything that I've said or done... Maybe the $300 that I gave the FFW for Christmas money one year?  She really, between me and the ex - took a LOT of money from us.  Wow.  But again, it's forgiveness... that's right.  so nope.  I wouldn't take that back either.  

12. What if you were stuck on an island forever but had all the water, food and shelter you needed. What would you do?
Find a way to sink ships going by so I'd have company.  Sorry peeps - but I'd go freaking insane by myself.  LOL  I need to talk to people!

13. What if the internet didn't exist?

No Bejeweled?  Shut up.  Well for one?  I think the USPS wouldn't be doing so bad. :(
I'm sure there would be a lot more "family bonding time"...   I think that'd suck - I've gotten back in contact with so many friends and family members that I wouldn't have if not for the internet. 

14. What if you never started blogging?
Seriously?  Then how would you all know about me?  My life?  My trials and tribulations?  My struggles for equality..  my... yeah.  You're right.  I'm full of shit.  I just like to share.  And vent.  Hence the name "MY space... MY blog... MY life... no Apologies.  Don't like it?  Don't read.  :)
15. What are your November 22 Thanksgiving plans?
Having dinner with some of my family - not by blood but family by choice.  They're so much better sometimes..  :) 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Got the Blues for the Blues...

(This is last week's - that I missed because I was doing something - don't ask, it must have been important, after all I would never miss on purpose!)
1) Do you come up with your brightest ideas early in the morning or late at night?
In the shower.  All the time.  I don't know what it is, although, this week I'm more concerned about not pulling off steri-strips than thinking about how to garner world peace.  :)

2) Are you more likely to feel romantic at night or in the morning?
Shit, do I really need to answer this?  I'll take it whatever way I can get it, these days.  LOL

3) Do you shower in the morning, after work or before bed?
In the morning.  I can't shower at night - then I get bed head.  Who wants bed head?  Not me.  Although it'd give my normally straight hair some body - but still.  Yuck.

4) Billie Holiday was just 44 when she died. Is there an artist whose early demise surprised and saddened you?
All of those in the "28 club".  And they all make me sad - it's sad what drugs and alcohol will do to a person - and none of them needed to die as young as they did.  All of them could have been avoided.
5) Billie was known as "Lady Day." Do you have a cool nickname? (If not, feel free to give yourself one right now.) 
I kind of like Momzilla.  Or Westy.  Used to be Chesty Westy.  HAHAHA!  Not any MORE though!!!

6) When was the last time you had the blues?
GOD I miss the House of Blues.  I've always loved live Blues music, and I don't think there's anywhere around me that has it live on a regular basis.  Now I've got the blues for the blues.  Thanks.  Feel better?

7) Crazy Sam is eating Trader Joe's Snickerdoodles as she composes this. What's the last snack food you ate?
I don't know - but it wasn't anything from Trader Joe's.  I <3 2="2" a="a" away.="away." big="big" br="br" but="but" closest="closest" do="do" drive="drive" drove="drove" food="food" get="get" go="go" hours="hours" i="i" is="is" isn="isn" joe="joe" nbsp="nbsp" obsessive="obsessive" one="one" over="over" really="really" s.="s." snack="snack" some="some" someone="someone" t="t" tell="tell" that="that" the="the" to="to" trader="trader" want="want" worth="worth">
8) Do you worry about preserving endangered species? Or do you believe in survival of the fittest?
I'm going to tell you right now - if the zombie apocalypse happens, I'm a goner.  I don't have a gun, and while I can hit anyone with a frying pan - there are others that will survive longer than me.  So I'll be an endangered species when that happens.

9) Would you ever hire a lawyer who runs commercials on TV? Do you know anyone who has?
LOLOL  I used to work for a parking company in Boston.  One of our customers was Jim Sokolove - him of the many commercials.  He was the biggest douche, it was ridiculous.  I would never hire him.  I'm sure people have - but only because they don't know any better.   

The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

1) "Live and Let Die" was nominated for an Oscar as best song. Do you have a favorite movie song?
Oh, dammit.  I was expecting stupid questions.  I wanted to give stupid answers!
I'm REALLY loving Adele's song for the new Bond movie.  It's just an instant classic, and is so "Bond-like" it's crazy. Here's a copy of the trailer - and you can hear the song here (if you live under a rock and haven't heard it already)

2) The latest Bond movie, Skyfall, is crazy successful. Have you seen it/do you want to see it?
I've heard that it's crazy good, which is why it's crazy successful.  Go figure!  I'm planning on seeing it.

3) What do you think makes Bond movies so enduringly popular?
Oh come on.  Hot guy.  Hot girls.  Hot cars.  It appeals to all of the masses.  Oh, and usually?  There's really good fight scenes.

4) Do you have a favorite among the actors who have played "Bond, James Bond?"
Sean Connery - it's the accent.  He's still hot, for an old guy..

5) Bond orders martinis -- "shaken, not stirred." What's your regular drink order?
Good God I love my beer.  And wine.  Oh, wine is divine.  But sometimes, around this time of year - a pumpkin martini is delightful too.  Let's face it - I'm a lush.

6) Moving from the bar to breakfast -- do you have a favorite cereal? 
My absolute favorite?  Honey Nut Cheerios mixed with Wheaties.  That's right.  I'm a mixer.  Don't judge.  

7) Let's daydream about warm weather. Would you rather swim in a lake, the ocean, or an outdoor pool?

8) Did you get 8 hours' sleep last night?
At least - that's the thing about having a major surgery - it kind of knocks you out a bit.

9) What are you wearing on your feet right now?
 My favorite slippers - they're the ones I wore to the hospital, too.  They made people smile.  I love to make people smile.  \
Thanks Amanda :) xoxo

Happy Saturday!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Things that make you go hmmmmmm

So I had a little surgery yesterday.  Reshaped the front of my body.  Chopped some of the girls off - which is something I've been talking about for YEARS.  I know I've mentioned it here before. 
I'm less than 24 hours post-op and wondering what the hell I waited so long for.  I actually woke up this morning with less back and neck pain than I've had since I don't know when. 
I can see my FEET.  And my stomach, but that's another story LOL  Time to work out!
I've always hated my picture being taken.  I actually let people take pictures of me yesterday - and for years I've been the one hiding in the background, or having my son sit in front of me.  Not any more.  I will be front and center from now on :)

It was my first time with general anesthesia - and the last thing I remember is them holding the oxygen mask over my face and then I woke up in recovery...  Go figure.  Easy as that!

So... I know that my friends Erin and Julie go see psychics, etc.  And sometimes, little things happen that make me wonder, "was that some kind of sign"?   Ever since I scheduled the surgery, I've been wondering what, if anything, you see/dream/think about while under the anesthesia.  I had thoughts of seeing my mother, Harriet - or others that have passed on.  Would that happen?  Well, if it did, I don't remember it. 

BUT... the nurse that gave me the awesome drugs before the general?  Her name was Maggie.  She was a student nurse, and a lot of fun.  My favorite aunt's name was Maggie.  I know - you would think that Harriet was my favorite aunt, but she wasn't - she was my person - like a sister, not an aunt.  Maggie is also the other person in my family that had the extra large boobs.  She actually died of breast cancer.  :(   I was so scared that they would find something when they opened mine up, but apparently not.  Whew... 

BUT... I woke up with a fat lip.  Seriously?  A fat lip.  And who gave it to me?  Maggie.  Not sure how, but all that matters was it was her.  LOL

If that's not a sign that they're all watching me, I don't know what is.  AND I don't know what I did.  But I'm sure I'll figure that out.

Stew on that one a bit. 


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Sometimes Karma is a beautiful thing

I wrote about this case Here - and how this girl could easily have been me, one of my friends, or any number of people.
He was sentenced on Monday.
Life in prison. Read Here  and here  for the sentencing and impact statements..   No possibility ever of parole - even if his murder conviction for some crazy reason was overturned. 

Here are her mother's words at the sentencing..

“I feel like I've been carrying this letter around in my head for over a year. Perhaps writing it down and saying it aloud will allow me to purge the hatred from my heart and mind. I no longer want thoughts of my daughter's murderer to have prime real estate inside my head. Better that I use that space for all the wonderful memories I have of Jenny.
“I think all parents have the fear of that phone call or knock on the door in the middle of the night — for us, it is a horrible reality. Dead? A suicide? It can't be real. Not Jenny. We're just normal people. The baby? Is he dead, too? After all the unbelievable events of that horrific night I sat in the dark and watched the sun begin to rise and thought, 'How can life go on? How can the sun still come up and people go to work when my heart and life has been ripped apart?'
You were a policeman, someone we have been taught to respect and trust. She considered you her friend. I guess to you, Jenny was just a 'booty call;' a plaything; never a friend. Friends don't murder their friends. Are you such a coward that you couldn't face your responsibilities as the baby's father? Funny, many men have faced the same problem but did the right thing. You decided it was easier to murder Jenny and your own baby? You sat and ate dinner while you planned out the murder. You distributed communion at your church while you were planning the murder. You coached your son's team while you calculated how to kill your other child. Evil monster are the only words I can think of for you.
“Thankfully you won't be able to hurt anyone else. You won't be able to have any more 'friends.' Hopefully no other 'friends' have died on your watch. There are so many victims in this selfish act of yours. Not only our family and hundreds of Jenny's friends, but your family, your mother, your son, your ex-wife — everyone that trusted you has to live with the horror of it. And all the good dedicated policemen and women who work every day to protect and serve, your evilness tarnishes all the good they try to do.
“This could have turned out very differently. Bless Jenny's heart, she fought for her life and for the life of her unborn baby. At first, I told detectives that I  hoped you had drugged her so she wouldn't have had to suffer or be scared,  but if that would have happened, you may have gotten away with it. There would have been no bloody fingerprints. If you had answered your radio in a timely fashion and Officer (Tim) Patterson hadn't come looking for you, you may have gotten away with it. If Jenny hadn't have been the person she was, maybe we may have believed suicide and you may have gotten away with it. But as I search my soul for a reason why, I sometimes feel that Jenny was used as a tool to stop you from doing this to others. Why God didn't strike you dead, I don't know. But however this fell into place, with the great job of the investigative team, no cover-up from your coworkers, a wonderful prosecuting team, and an intelligent jury, you didn't get away with it.
“As Jenny's family and friends, life as we know it will never be the same without her. But, the one consolation I have is that life for you will be the same, every day, for the rest of your life. Someone will tell you when to sleep, when to eat, when to shower, when to talk — same — day in, day out. So go to your cage and think about how you squeezed the life and breath out of my daughter and grandson and I hope it haunts you every day for the rest of your life.”

I've never wished death upon anyone, and I certainly don't wish it upon Bluew.  I wish him a long life.  In General Population.  Where everyone knows that he was a cop.  And a baby killer.

THAT is karma.  And I hope he knows what's coming.

RIP Jenny and Braxton... justice has been served on a silver platter.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Sunday... and even more about me??

Half Way Done (you want to know MORE about me?!??!)

Sunday Stealing: Who Are you? Part 3 & 4 – Is it over yet?
Part 3: Past
34. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
Giving birth...

35. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Giving birth... LOL  I could use this answer for so many!  But other than my son?  Finally getting my Bachelor's degree.  On my own.  While being a single mom, working full time. 

36. What is your greatest regret?
Definitely NOT giving birth! LOL  Hmmm.... there are so many answers that I could give for this - but really?  I don't have regrets.  I have things that I wish I hadn't done, but if I hadn't done them, I wouldn't be the person I am today.

37. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
Slept with someone else's husband.  I don't recommend it for anyone.

38. When was the time you were the most frightened?
I remember being in 2nd grade, I think?  And my siblings thought it would be funny to hold me against a fence where there were some pretty nasty Dobermans on the other side.   Yeah.  They were awesome.  Which is why we're so close now, right? 

39. What is your best memory?
 I remember riding bikes to Nantasket.  Not only was I shocked that I was allowed to go, I just remember feeling such a sense of freedom. 

Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

41. What is your greatest fear?
Really?  Dying alone.
42. What are your religious views?
Everybody needs a reason to believe.  I believe that there is a higher power than me.  Isn't that enough?

43. State a random opinion?
Teenage boys are dumb.

44. What are your views on sex?
Really?  LMAO... 

45. Are you able to cook?
I'm a damn good cook.  DAMN good.

46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?
I think that anyone that messes with a child in any way - molestation, murder, or just generally fucks with their head - they need to be shot.  Don't fuck with kids...

47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
I believe that when I look at some couples, that I believe that there has to be hope.

48. What do you believe makes a successful life?
Being able to look in the mirror and be happy with what you see.  If I died tomorrow, would I leave a legacy of good or bad?

49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings?
Sometimes TOO honest - it gets me in trouble.

50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
I am going to plead the 5th on this one..

51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?
There are a lot.  Sleeping with someone else's husband ever again.  Um... because it's wrong?  Anal sex.  Because Jesus - that'd hurt dammit!  Eat anything that is still alive.  No reason necessary.  Hurt a kid.  Same thing...   Should I go on?

52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
My kid, some of my family and most of my friends.  They all know who they are - I don't need to tell you.....

Happy Sunday :)

Saturday Nine/Sunday Stealing

I'm combining... so sue me LOL

What a crazy week - it's been busy.  Apparently watching a show on Netflix during your lunch hour, on the work PC, not only slows down the entire network - it sends a red flag to the IT department, which sends a notice to your supervisor, who has to "counsel" you on the "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING'S" of watching a show on Netflix on the work PC.  Yikes.  So now?  My internet at work on the work PC is strictly verboten - unless it's work related.  Dammit. 

Here's the mememememememeeeeeeeee........

1) This song was inspired by the Bogart/Bacall movie of the same name. Do you have a favorite Humphrey Bogart film? Which one?
Nope.  I don't think I've ever seen one all the way through.  Does that make me a bad person?  Please.  Forgive me...
2) Where do you rent movies? (Netflix, Redbox, OnDemand, etc.)
Um.  Yeah.  Just not during work hours.  I swear.  LOL  Netflix and Redbox are the best!

3) Have you ever been to the Florida Keys?
Why yes, yes I have!  I've driven from Miami to Key West a number of times - one of my favorite places! And remember, when I was rich?  I used to go to Ocean Reef Club.  Look that one up.  That was a cool place - best Pina Colada around - especially with a coconut rum floater.  Mmmmmmmmm......  I know I'll never have the net worth to go there again, but oh, it was fun while it lasted!
4) According to government statistics, more than half the people who currently live in Florida were born in another state. Were you born in the state where you currently live?
Nope.  Was there more you wanted to know?
5) To be honest, Crazy Sam really hates this week's featured song. (Hear it here.) Do you like it? Loathe it? Or are you unfamiliar with it? 
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  I'm sorry, did you say something?
6) Local authorities in a suburb of Sydney blasted Barry Manilow songs into a neighborhood park to keep "hooligans" away after dark. Is there an artist or song that would make you run in the other direction?
Anything that puts me to sleep..

7) Two of the most common fears are going to the dentist and speaking in public. Do either of those really get under your skin?
Public speaking.  I can talk to a bunch of people at a party, or in some other setting like that, but put me on a stage and I either freeze or turn into Carrot Top with inappropriate jokes..

8) We're having burgers. What do you want on yours?
Mmmmmmmm.... Onions, ketchup, mustard, pickles, hot relish, lettuce

9) Here's your chance to do a shameless plug -- What charity or cause do you wish got more support?
This week?  Red Cross - my niece is currently homeless due to that stupid bitch Sandy.  
 She's lucky that she has a place to stay with a good friend - but there are so many others that are still stranded and need help.  I wish I lived closer - I'd be there in a second.
Next up, Sunday Stealing!! 

Saturday, October 27, 2012


This may be a bit lengthy, so either pull up a chair, grab a cuppa - or come back when you have time :)

What is forgiveness?  Is it forgetting, or just letting go of things that have happened in the past?  Is it coming to a point in your life when you realize that hanging on to resentments, or still wishing something bad upon someone is just silly and it takes up more of your time than necessary?  Is it seeing things realistically?  Does this person even care if I ever forgive them?  Do they even know if or why I'm mad at them?

Lewis B. Smedes wrote in his book, Forgive and Forget, "When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself."  I think that this is partly true.  Who has resentment hurt?  Them?  I don't think so.  Although they've missed out on having me in their life - and really, that is a shame, because I'm a pretty cool person - they have moved on and are living their lives.

I'm about a month late for Yom Kippur, but then again, I'm not Jewish.   Catholics are all about forgiveness, and looking for it from God for all of our transgressions.  I guess I'll find out when I die whether I've been forgiven or not.  Here is a link to a great  NY Times article from 2010 on forgiveness.  While it's religious in nature, there are some good points.   Do I want revenge?  Meh... I used to.  But I've come to realize that my wanting it and it happening are probably two different things.  Plus, I'm a big believer in karma.  I've seen it first hand.   I wrote a post before about forgiveness - Here.  I've written posts about karma.  I wrote a long one about how karma has come back to bite me in the ass, and I knew what it was, and I accepted it.  I deserved it - it was wished upon me - I can't find it - but I know it's there somewhere.

I had a dream last night about it.  And then I was talking to my friend Angie today about something that had nothing to do with any of this, and then she was talking about some radio show that she had been listening to - about forgiveness.  Weird.  Then someone else brought it up.  It was kind of a sign...

So.  Here goes.

Jocelyn?  I forgive you.  I think of your life, and where you were and where you are now - and you have done what you needed to in order to get there.  You went from being evicted from a trailer park to owning your own home.  You found someone to take care of you and your kids - and that's what you told me you'd do.  I think that it's sad you crawled over quite a few people to get there, but it's not my issue.  It's not my problem, you're not my problem - and I have faith that karma will get you some day.  So for what you did to me?  For what you did to my kid?  I forgive you.

Theo?  You really don't need forgiveness - you really had no clue what was going on.   I still don't think you did/do.  But I'll forgive you for walking away from Josh.  You just didn't know any better.  I wish you happiness in your life, and friends that are true and don't care about your money.  I never did, and I hope you get that some day.

Kevin?  Ugh.  Maybe I'm not quite there with him yet.  But I think his karma is hitting him.  I know that he looks like shit - very unhealthy - he's a big fat bigot (he wasn't like that when I was with him), and not many like or respect him - not to mention the fact that he lives with a psycho.  She's really cuckoo for cocoa puffs, and he's probably scared to pee without her permission.  LOL 

To my siblings?  I get that it's easier to take your anger and frustrations out on me, because I'm further away.  I know that I didn't do anything wrong, but I forgive you for treating me as if I did.   Same with you, Dad.  I feel bad because there are others that are by-products of all this, and it's not fair to them. 

Does this mean that I want to hang out with any of them?  Hells no.  I can forgive, but that doesn't mean we have to be friends.  It just means that I just don't care any more - I'm not letting anger and resentment eat at me any more.  I like sleep - and I've gotten some of the best sleep the past few weeks.  Why?  Because I have a clear conscience, and I know I'm a good person.  I've made peace with myself.

 Enjoy the day..

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Wicked Wednesday.....

So, the Donald had a big announcement today about Obama.

Seriously?  He just got the most free publicity, and for what?  I'd pay more attention to him if he said he was getting a new hairdo.  He's such a pompous ass, it's ridiculous.  "Everyone love me, I am Donald, hear me roar"... blah blah blah... vomit... vomit... vomit.....

Thank goodness for Facebook!  It reminds all of the people that would normally forget that it's your birthday.  Yay!   Of course the ones that usually forget will still forget.   It's nice, though, that people take time out of their day even just to write "happy birthday"..  :)  It makes me feel special!  My BFF took me out to lunch, and my birthday buddy brought me yogurt pretzels, strawberry dip and pumpkin cookies.  Yum.  :)

In 3 weeks, I get to throw out (or burn - maybe I'll burn them) ALL of my bras.  It's going to be a happy happy day!

Tomorrow is the boy's birthday.  He'll be 16.  Holy shit.  16.  He's half way to grown up.  In another 16 years he could meet the love of his life, get married and have kids.  Wow...

Tonight's treat?  Making brownies for his birthday.  And I'll enjoy every second of it.  Because there aren't many birthdays left that I'll be able to do this for him... :(  Now I'm feeling old..

So, hey (can't resist) - if you see Kevin Fay of the MA State Police tomorrow?   Ask him what he got his son for his birthday, willya?  LOL

Happy Wednesday!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

I stood stone-like at midnight, suspended in my masquerade...

The title is related... do you know how?

I'm doing a twofer this week - I was in Missouri for a wedding last weekend and totally missed all sorts of fun stuff :)

1. What is your biggest pet peeve?
People that can't drive, can't spell or can't speak properly.  Move over if you're in the left lane, doing less than the speed limit; it's not "there so happy!", it's they're; and oh for the love of God - don't AX me a damn question!

2. Where and when were you born?
Boston.  On my birthday.  Which by the way, is coming up.  Did you get me something? 

3. Where did your parents meet?
In the aisle of an A&P, my father was working (escaping his dysfunctional family), and my mother was doing I don't know what (escaping her dysfunctional family), and offered the cute guy sweeping a piece of gum.  A match made in heaven...  not really - but hey, it sounded good, right?

4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like in four words?
LOLOLOLOLOLOL  (that was one) and the other 3?  WE DON'T SPEAK.

5. Where do you live now, and with whom?
Michigan - and with an almost 16 year old snarky boy and a getting quite fat black cat named Ninja..

6. What is your occupation?
Mom, working on a job :)

7. Write a full description of yourself.
I am a pretty pretty princess

8. To which social class do you belong? 
Middle.. which, for a single mom - is a pretty darn good accomplishment these days

9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?
I get weak in the knees when I see really hot Secret Service guys - does that count?

10. Are you right- or left-handed?
"I know something you don't know...."

11. What does your voice sound like?
A sexy siren..

12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? 
NO, would be one...  Shut the front door, stuff like that..

13. What do you have in your pockets?
snails, twine, rabbit's foot, marbles, batteries, a rubber ball and $0.12..

14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? 
No, like I said before - I'm a pretty pretty princess!  Jesus - I can't tell you all my secrets, can I?  Oh wait - a defining characteristic?  I have very large American Breasteses.  

15. How would you describe your childhood in general?
Glad it's over

16. What is your earliest memory?
Coming out of the pod

17. How much schooling have you had? 
Over 20.  Yikes.

18. Did you enjoy school? 
When I went because I wanted to, yes.

19. Stop and count, Since you were born until today; how many homes have you lived in?
LOL  19.  That's a lot of moving.

20. While growing up, did you have any role models?
My Aunt Harriet was always my favorite person - so I guess her?  She loved her family, encouraged them to do things together, and while she had her faults - she was a great person.  If you watch Gray's Anatomy?  She was my person.  She was my coach when my son was born, and I still have a hole in my life where she used to be.  Her death, so far in my life, was the most devastating loss I've had.  And that, my people, is the most honest answer you'll get on here. 

21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?
I had an older brother and sister - they were one year apart.  A younger brother that idolized the older brother and did everything he said.  What do you think? 

22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A pretty pretty princess!   And a teacher.  And a mom.  Two out of three isn't bad, right? 

23. What were your favorite activities 3 years ago?
 Same as they are now, but I'm so glad I gave up that crystal meth - whooeeee that stuff was crazy!~

24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?
 Loud mouth, stubborn, opinionated - pretty much the same I am now!

25. As a child, were you popular?
With who?  The pedophile up the street?  The neighbor kids?  The kids at school?  

26. When and with whom was your first kiss?
 Mike something.  I just remember the smell of peach pool chalk. 

27. Describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. 
I have influences that showed me what NOT to do, and then some that showed me the right things to do.  I credit them all for who I am today.  I'm not naming names.  

28. What’s next?
Breakfast.  What are you having?


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Thursday Tidbits...

I'm taking a self-imposed break from Facebook.  It just sucks out too much of my time - especially at WORK!  LOL  And while I'm not on there, Henry may update or be seen every once in a while. 

Since I've blocked certain people out of my life, I have been sleeping amazingly well.  Not sure if it's what I'm doing at night, or the fact that I no longer have that huge weight on my shoulders - but whatever it is, I'm thankful.  I haven't needed Sominex in forever.  And while I usually wake up once a night to pee - that's it - and I go right back to sleep.  Yay, me :)

I got an iPad a few months ago.  I love love LOVE it.  I've sold my netbook, because I don't use it any more, and could even get rid of my PC and not miss it.  Although I'd miss Word and all that good stuff... 
I have my calendar on it, my pictures, music - you name it.  And it all syncs with my iPhone, which makes it that much cooler.   You should get one. 

I really need to learn to let go of some resentment I have toward certain people.  I'm trying, but sometimes it's just so damn hard.  Any advice?

Happy Thursday :)


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Gnome tale.......

It was March of 2011.  He arrived in a plain brown box, with just the Amazon symbol to discern what awaited inside.  I opened it, almost giddy, and held him aloft.  He had arrived.  My gnome.  I've always wanted one, but every time I found them advertised they would sell out.  So I resorted to Amazon.  And he came.  Just like they promised.  He was everything I expected.  Short.  Blue jacket, white beard, red hat.  I didn't know what to name him, so I placed him on my desk at work and then brought him back home a few days later to think about it.  I set him by my computer, and totally forgot about naming him.  He became part of my desk.

I had a party at my house - ladies only - no not that kind of party...  And after the party, I sat at my computer and realized that he was gone.  What the hell?  Who would take my gnome???  I immediately accused my BFF, Kim - who, of course, denied any involvement.

A few days later, I got a friend request on Facebook.  From Edward Nome (you can see his page HERE)..  And I was like, "Huh?  I don't know any Edward Nome".  After a few minutes, it sunk in.  Dammit.  They even started a facebook page??  Well, at least now he is named.  He is Eddie. 

Eddie started a whirlwind of adventures, stopping every once in a while to send me a postcard from wherever he was..  He was having a lovely time for himself!

In the meantime, a friend from High School, Leah - sent me a replacement as a gradutation gift.  I graduated with my Bachelors in May of 2011.  His name was Bob.  He looked different from Eddie, but that was OK, he was cool - and he came with his own gargoyles.   He hung out in my kitchen.  At my graduation party, I received another - just like Eddie - only he had "if found return to K" on the bottom of it.  And his name is Henry.  There was a lot of drinking and celebrating, and somehow between the party and the hangover the next day - both Henry and Bob were kidnapped. 

Can you see where this is going?

All I wanted was a freaking gnome.  That was it.  To take on travels.  LOL

About a month or so later, I opened my front door to find a big brother to Eddie and Henry - his name was Ian Shagnasty and he asked to live with me.  He's too big to steal.  LOL

Then a month or so after that, Red showed up from Seattle.  He's dressed in my favorite baseball team's attire - the Red Sox.

Again.... I just wanted one.  To hang out with.

In the meantime, Eddie is posting pictures of all these places that he's at - and his last known whereabouts was in Cabo.  Apparently he was left in the back of a cab.  Whoops!  So he's now probably a member of some violent drug cartel.  I fear that Eddie's gone bad. 

Bob and Eddie met up in San Diego (before the Great Cabo Cab Incident of 2011)...

Bob was last seen in Boston, surprisingly RIGHT after I left there - drinking with some of my cousins...

And Henry?  Well, Henry showed up during our trip to Martha's Vineyard.  He found his way to the house we rented and has been "home" ever since...

Henry has come along with us on some wonderful adventures.  He has his own Facebook page now.  Henry G. Nome go ahead - friend him .  He has lots of fun - and is headed to Atlantis in the spring!

Poor Eddie and Bob.... sigh........

Monday, October 15, 2012

Whoops! Guess I was early...

As was that Crazy Sam -
I'll do this one - albeit a bit late :)

Saturday 9: Ain't No Other Man

1) Do you believe there's only one person (and there ain't no other) for you? Or do you think we can truly love several partners over the course of our lives?

Oh Jesus.  I hope there's more than one.  We all know how the others have worked out for me.  Seriously.  How many people can claim one or more of the following?
Tim - bug man
Tim - penis on the internet man
Kevin - pathological liar that continuously was cheating on his wife, and is probably cheating on his girlfriend now because she's fucking nuts
Theo - the "I will make my life your life" guy that turns into whoever he's with..  Who is now alone and turning into Jabba the Hut.  Scary.

Shit.  There's got to be better.

2) Do you have this, or any other, Christina song on your iPod/mp3 player?
I think I have a couple on there.  She's a hoochy-mama though.  She needs to cover up her girls more.

3) Christina Aguilera won a Grammy for her performance of this song. What do you deserve an award for? And who would you thank in your acceptance speech?
Snarky Snarcasm..... And I'd thank all the stupid people in the world for continuously giving me material to work with
4) Christina Aguilera has her own brand of perfume. Do you have a fragrance or scent you regularly wear?
Eau de JoMama

5) Do you have any allergies?
Just to bullshit... It's gotten worse as I've gotten older..

6) There's an older lady who proclaims during a TV commercial, "I will give up beer, bread, wine or soda but I won't give up Life Alert!" No, we're not going to debate her diet. Instead the question is: What are some of the staples that are always on your grocery list?
Coffee.  Don't ever EVER fuck with my coffee.

7) What's your favorite sitcom of all time?
Does LOST count?

8) When it comes to your socks, do you prefer solids, stripes or prints?
What?  Flip Flops.

9) At what age do you consider a person "middle aged?" And when do they transition to "old?"
When they need a walker, they're middle aged, and as far as a wheelchair?  I will quote my friend Ian's grandmother for this (what a freaking hoot she was!)  "the day you put me in a wheelchair is the day you take me to the graveyard"...

Is Cornflower Blue even a color?

Saturday 9: Midnight Train to Georgia....

I'm not sure if I'm early or late, but hell - I just like to play along :)
If you want to?  Click --->HERE to do so

1) Have you ever been to the Atlanta?
"The" Atlanta?  There's more than one?  Holy flippers!  Dammit!  Another place to put on my bucket list...  Regular Atlanta and then "The" Atlanta..

2) Do you enjoy traveling by train?
Only if I get on at Platform 9 3/4 and get off at Hogwarts

3) "Midnight Train to Georgia" is Sam Winters' signature number at the karaoke bar. What's your go-to song when you take the mic?
"Why Don't We Get Drunk"....  Or something as equally obnoxious.  In other words - I do not sing ever.  I would scare innocent women/children/gay men.  Won't happen.  Ever. 

4) Do you drink tea?
Only when I'm sick.  Then it's Earl Grey all the way..

5) What's the most recent thing you purchased for your home?
A magnet for my fridge.  I try to get one everywhere we go.  The only ones that I haven't purchased have been gifts.  My favorites are the ones from Hawaii from Pseudo :) that I won as a prize with a bunch of other awesome stuff

6) Are there dishes in your kitchen sink right now?
Maybe.  Don't judge.  Is *your* sink clean?

7) Have you ever been fingerprinted?
I SWEAR I really did have a lost puppy.  Dammit.  Now I have to get rid of the white paneled van..

8) What was the last check you wrote?
for services rendered

9) What color are your eyes?
not creepy cornflower blue, that's for sure..