Sunday, October 27, 2013

Best Birthday present EVER

This comes from the old Saturday 8 blog which is defunct and removed.  But it's almost my birthday so here we go:

1. as you get older, are you jazzed about your birthday?  
HAH!  Mine was actually Thursday.  It was uneventful, and I think any birthday over 40 just needs to be ignored.  LOL

2. do people usually remember your birthday? 
Funny thing about that.  My friends remember.  My cousins remember.  But my father has consistently forgotten it for years.  So, the ones that matter?  Yes, they remember.

3. an ex-coworker used to begin 3 mos. before her birthday flat-out reminding us that it was coming up. it's amazing what no self-esteem does for you. anyway, do you know anyone who pre-announces their birthdays? 
Why yes, yes I do.  My birthday is on United Nations Day.  I tell people that is coming up - not my birthday LOL

4. what was your best birthday? why? 
Hmmmm.... Looking back now?  My 31st.  I was induced on my birthday and had my son at 4:30 AM on the 25th.  Best birthday present ever.

5. what was your worst birthday? why?  
Looking back now?  My 31st.  LOL  I spent it in the hospital.  And when the putzwit showed up (after work of course) apparently my mother growled at him.  LOLOLOL  He said he was planning on staying, but my mother growled at him.  It was very stressful, and the worst part of the day/night.   I think he was full of shit, but who knows.  He did come back in before I left to see him, though.

6. name your best birthday gift.  
This one:

7. name the best birthday gift you've gotten for someone else.  
hmmm... I'm not sure.  I'm a horrible gift giver.  Oh, WAIT.  I surprised my friend Julie on her 40th.  It was awesome.  :)

8. as i age, i value SLEEP as a priceless commodity. i didn't get any for my birthday, however. what do you want this year for your birthday?
I got exactly what I wanted.  Some awesome hand lotion, and some rave reviews of my kid at school.  He's got all A's and 1 B.  I am so freaking proud of him, I thought I'd puff up like a peacock.  LOL

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Kind of like Walmart at night. But not at Walmart.

Sheryl Crow is a breast cancer survivor and October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please spread the word about early detectionAnd also please know that there are so many more cancers than just breast.  Check your boobies - do it often and do it right.  Get regular pap smears.  A colonoscopy (trust me, it'll be the best nap you've ever had).  Guys - get your prostate checked, and you check your boobies too! 

1) What's something that always makes you happy?
Ahhhhhhhh my son, my son.  He is a prince among men.  See? 
2) In the lyrics, Sheryl refers to a poncho. How do you usually protect yourself from the rain? Poncho? Umbrella? Raincoat? Hat?
The fact that I am stealth like ninja.  I dart between the raindrops like the wind.  You know, run like the wind, Bullseye!

3) Early in her career, Sheryl made ends meet by singing commercial jingles, including one for McDonald's. When was the last time you visited The Golden Arches?
It's been a while.  I usually stop once every couple of weeks to get the boy dinner - it's a treat for him.  I can't remember the last time I ate that food.  Blech.   Although their salads aren't bad.  

4) Sheryl rode a horse into the ring of a Wyoming rodeo and then sang. Have you ever been to a rodeo?
The local hockey rink had one a few years ago, we went.  The people there were, um.... interesting...  Kind of like Walmart at night.  But not at Walmart.   

5) Sheryl lives outside of Nashville, which is known as Music City. What type of music do you listen to most often?
Sheryl's actually one of my faves.  Always uplifting.  I love country, and usually will switch between that, top 40 and the oldies station.  But really, when did the music I grew up with become "oldies".  That's not fair.  I'm not that old.  

6) Crazy Sam is a massive Sheryl Crow fan, and is sure that the only reason why she and Sheryl aren't best friends is that they haven't met. What famous person do you think could be your BFF?
oh, definitely Melissa McCarthy.  She and I would have each other peeing our pants.  LOL  

7) Sheryl and cyclist Lance Armstrong were once engaged. Had they tied the knot, she would have become stepmother to his three children. Are you a step-parent, stepsibling or stepchild?
I've never been married, but I have extra kids - they say I'm their 2nd (or 3rd, or 4th) Mom.  I think these kids collect Moms like some kids collect baseball (or Pokemon) cards.  Not sure if it's a good thing or not. I have a stepmother, and 3 stepsisters.  One I get along with, one I haven't seen in years, and the other has been bitch to me every time I see her.   It's a weird dynamic, one got married years ago and invited "immediate family only" which meant my father walked her down the aisle, but none of his children were invited.  Whatever.  My father was OK with this, which is part of the weird dynamic with him, and also part of the problem with him.  Anyway.  You didn't ask for all that, so I'll stop now.
8) Sheryl has performed carols at the National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony in Washington DC. Have you ever visited our nation's capital?
Nope, I've driven by, around, and near it, but never been there.  It's on the bucket list.

9) Do you consider yourself easy going or do you have a fiery temperament?
Depends.  I can be your best friend or your worst enemy.  The putzwit sent me an email yesterday about a medical bill (our only contact, and I know it kills him to have to do it).  I responded with "Would you like me to pass on a Happy Birthday to your son as well?"...  Funny.  He didn't respond to that.  But Yup.  I am that person.  With him.  When my child is involved - and you fuck with him, I will be the person that makes your life a living hell.  Oh, and if anyone sees Kevin Fay of the MA State Police (I forget his cruiser number, dammit)?  Tell him his youngest son had a great birthday!   

Sunday, October 20, 2013

I don't want to be the mistress of anything. Ain't nobody got time for that.

From My Random Randomness

My Random Randomness Meme, part 3

1) What room are you in?
My office/den/book room.. it's off the kitchen.  Which reminds me, some lady called me yesterday to ask some questions about her daycare license - and she FLUSHED THE TOILET while she was on the phone with me.  If I was a friend - I could maybe understand it - I mean, come on, we've all done it.  You know the "flush and run" or the "I don't care, you're my biffle and I'm gonna flush" but a total stranger?  No way..  

2) Can you solve a rubix cube?

Pffft... Rubix, cubix...  Back in the day i could.. Now?  Ain't nobody got time for that!  By the way - if you haven't seen this video?  You should.  HY-sterical...

3) Are you psychic in any way?

I am.  I can move things with my mind.  And I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.  Who the hell does anything related to a "bound"?  Cause that?  That's whack.  And like I said, "ain't nobody got time for that"...

4) What star sign are you?

No Crossing...  oh.  Wait.  STAR sign... Scorpio.  Four days to prepare.  Get it right.  

5) What's your favorite color?

Usually I'd say green or yellow, but today?  TODAY it's RED.  As in my beloved Red Sox.  That won last night.  Awesome game.  Did I mention that the Sox WON?  And now they're going to the World Series?  Yep.  I got time for that..

6) What's your lucky number?

5.  The amount of runs the Sox scored last night to beat the Tigers..  4 of them were from a grand slam.  Oh it was so pretty... I got time for that...

7) Do you have any chores that should be done now?

I'm sorry.  Did you say chores???  Who says that any more?  Wait.  Are we in a time warp?  Do we do bounding chores now?  Do I need to go milk the cow, Bessie?  Shit.  If I'm in a time warp I definitely put myself into the wrong era.  

8) Did you have a cherished childhood teddy bear or other toy?

Did you NOT read last week about my beloved Raggedy Ann?   Jesus, bring it up again, why don't you.  Are you trying to make me cry??

9) What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine?

flavored condoms.  We wanted to see if they really tasted like they said they would.  That was an interesting night at the bar.  LOL

10) What shoe size are you?

8 1/2.  What, checking to see if I'm a shoe-throwing Mama gooney goo-goo?

11) How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Prolly not as many as you.  High heels gave me bunions, and no support gave me plantar fascitiis.  So I have a good 3-4 pairs that I wear all the time.  And my sneakers.  Must have sneakers.

12) If you were prime minister/ruler of the world what laws would you make?

Equality for all.  No more shut downs of any government and if it ever happens again, those responsible are tossed out of office and women are put in their place.  Don't you remember?  We're women.  WE.  GET.  SHIT... DONE...

13) If you were a super hero what powers would you have?

Invisibility.  Because there are a few walls I would love to be a fly on.  LOL

14) and what would your hero name be?

Master of invisibility.  Or wait, would it be Mistress?  Shit.  I don't want to be the mistress of anything.  Ain't nobody got time for that.  Been there, done that, designed the t-shirt.  
I'd be SuperAwesomeInvisibilityGirl!  That's it!

15) and what outfit would you wear?

It doesn't matter.  I'd be invisible.  I'd run around buck nekkid.  Just because I could!

16) What was your last dream about?

The Red Sox heading to the World Series.  Oh, wait - they ARE!!!  Yay!!  I love it when my dreams come true :-)

17) What would you do if you won the lottery?

Depends.  I'm going to go with Powerball, by myself.  Because the daily numbers don't add up to much, and scratch tickets can only get you so far.  I'd pay off my mortgage, and then probably a few friends' mortgages.   Buy a summer cottage on the Vineyard.  Set up some kind of trust that helps single parents go to college.  Put the rest in the bank and let it go forth and multiply.  And not have to worry about paying the bills ever again. 

18) Would you like to build/design your own house?

Nah.  Ain't nobody got time for that.  That's what architects and designers are for.

19) Which form of public transport do you prefer?

I like Amtrak.  It was cool when I was working in downtown Boston.  You know - where the RED SOX are from?  

21) Can you juggle?

No.  Can you roll your tongue?

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Does the pope shit in the woods?

My Random Randomness, part 2

Well shit.  Now I have to go back and get part 1.  Dagnabbit! 

My Random Randomness Meme - Part I (because I missed it)..

  1. How did you choose your baby's or pet's names?
    Well, Ninja is a stealth like Ninja kitty - hence her name.  And my baby?  Was originally going to be John after my grandfather, but his father wasn't crazy about John, so at midnight before he was born - it was changed to Josh.  The funny thing?  I call him John every once in a while LOL  And he's not a baby.  He's almost 17..
  2.  Have you ever been fishing?
    Yes.. hasn't everyone? 
  3. Have you ever had your national flag painted on your face?
    No.  That's dumb...
  4. What was the last social faux pas you made?
    I let one rip at the party I was at last night.  Only my friend Carrie heard it, but it was damn funny.  LOL
  5. What makes you nostalgic?
  6. What's the scariest thing you've ever done?
    This:  OK, well apparently the picture feature is effed up. So it's ^^^^ that.. 
  7. What fairy tale character would you most associate with?
    Oh Jesus, I don't know.  Who pays attention to fairy tales anyway..
  8. How much do you tend to swear in public?
    Too fucking much, if you ask me..
  9.  If you ruled your own country, who would you get to write your national anthem?
    Blake Shelton.  It'd be kick ass.  LOL
  10. Who is the most intelligent person you know?
    Duh... ME..
  11. What's the craziest thing you've ever done for someone?
    Flew back to Boston for less than 24 hours to surprise my friend Julie..
  12. What's the worst piece of advice anyone has ever given you?
    Hmmmm I don't know.  I'm going to come back to this one..
  13. If you had to describe yourself as a flavor, what would it be?
    Rooty Tooty Fresh & Fruity
  14.  If you had to describe yourself as a car, what would it be?
    VW Bus..
  15.  If you had to describe yourself as an animal, what would it be?
    a pug.. LOL
  16.  Do you think laughing at someone else's misfortune is wrong?
    I have a tendency to laugh at things that others wouldn't.  So I guess, no - but only if they can't hear you?
  17.  If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing?

  18. Would you ever let your parents pick out a partner for you?
    HELLS no
  19.  Have you ever tried spam? (the meat product)
    I grew up in the 70's.  It was a staple at my house.

From My Random Randomness

My Random Randomness Meme, part 2

  1. What was your first alcoholic drink?
    Some nasty moonshine shit
  2. What was your first job?
    food services at South Shore Hospital
  3. What was your first car?
    Ricardo Montalbon used to sing about it all the time!
    Vooooooooooolare woah woah... Voooooolare oh oh oh oh...
  4. What was your first mobile phone?
    A big clunky one that had the antenna that you pulled up...
  5. What is your first proper memory?
    proper?  seriously?  taking my shoes off at library school. 
  6. Who was your first teacher?
    it was the ladies at Fogg Library.  I went to library school. 
  7. Which fictional character do you wish was real?
    My imaginary boyfriend.  He's freaking hot.  And has really big hands.
  8. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
    Disney World.  1972, I think?
  9. Who was your first best friend?
    Raggedy Ann.  And my siblings threw her down into the alley where the Doberman lived.  And the doberman ate her.  I should have known then how things would turn out.
  10. What was your first detention for?
    I never had detention.  I don't think. 
  11. What's your strongest sense?
    My Bullshit detector.
  12. Who was your first kiss?
    Jesus, what is this - walk down memory lane? 
  13. What was the first film you remember seeing at the cinema?
    Debbie does Dallas.  Can you tell I am bored with part II already?  LOL
  14. What's the largest amount of money you've ever won?
    $500 on a scratch ticket.  Two days before I went on vacation.  It was freaking awesome..
  15. What's the largest amount of money you've spent in one spree?
    $300 something?  I had to get an outfit for my ex's grandfather's funeral.  I bought the outfit and didn't look at any of the price tags.  Sigh... I miss when I was rich...
  16. If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
    Handle with care.  May explode with little to no notice. 
  17. Have you ever got sweet revenge on anyone?
    Muahahahahahahaaaaa...  maybe.  Don't judge.  But I will say - karma is the best revenge - and all you have to do is sit back and watch.
  18.  Have you ever been to a live concert?
    Does the pope shit in the woods?
  19. Have you ever been to see stand up comedy?
    Does the pope shit in the woods?
  20. Have you ever needed stitches?
    Again... does the pope shit in the woods?

Saturday, October 12, 2013

I find usually when I flush people are ready to hang up. LOL

Hopelessly Devoted to You

Welcome to Saturday: 9. What we've committed to our readers is that we will post 9 questions every Saturday. Sometimes the post will have a theme, and at other times the questions will be totally unrelated. Those weeks we do "random questions," so-to-speak. We encourage you to visit other participants posts and leave a comment. Because we don't have any rules, it is your choice. We hate rules. We love memes, however, and here is today's meme!
Olivia Newton-John is a breast cancer survivor and October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please spread the word about early detection.

1) This is a sad song about unrequited love. What's your favorite love song, and is it happy or sad?
     Hmmm it's changed along the years, but I really like "Happy" by Bruce..  And there's a new one by Hunter Hayes, featuring Jason Mraz.  "Everybody's got Somebody but Me".  LOL  I love anything by Jason Mraz.  Plus he's cute. 

2) This song is from the Grease soundtrack. When that movie came out in 1978, the price of a postage stamp was just 15¢. When's the last time you visited the post office?
I had to mail a package over the summer.  It was then.  Yeah.  Yeah.  That's the ticket.  :)  I have boxes in my house and they're for different people (my cousin Michelle's kids, my niece Erin and Josh's sister Marisa) when they're full - I mail them.   Some take longer than others.  LOL (Erin and Marisa)..  It's fun.  :)

3) Not many people know that Olivia's maternal grandfather, Max Born, won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1954. Share something about yourself that we might not have known before this morning.
My boobs are fabulous.  Oh.  Wait.  I think I told you all that already.  Hmmm...  I snore?  um....  oh shit, I don't know.  

4) Olivia's father was an officer in MI5, the UK's secret service. Sam's most recent run-in with the authorities had less intrigue or glamor, as it included a policeman pointing out the stop sign she'd somehow missed. Tell us about your most recent encounter with law enforcement.
BAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!  I'll put this here, just because.  LMAO  Oh.  Wait.  Too soon?  Not soon enough?  That was the closest encounter I've had with law enforcement.  LOL  I am good - I have friends that are in law enforcement and any encounters are usually out and about in social settings.  I'll be seeing some tonight, as a matter of fact.  At a Rickey Bobby Talledaga Nights party.  We're all supposed to dress up like someone from the movie.  I've never seen the movie, so maybe I'll be one of the gaffers, or the boom boy? 

5) Olivia is part owner of an exclusive, luxury retreat called Gaia. If you had a day of free access to a heated pool, golf course, tennis court, gym, and day spa, but could only use one, which one would you choose?
Um, duh.  Day spa.  I could make all that shit last for the day.  And when I thought I was done - I'd go back for ANOTHER massage.  Just because I could.  LOL

6) Are you flirtatious?
Are you textually active?

7) Do you more often wear silver, gold, or platinum?
Oh this is a good one.  I wear silver or white gold.  If ever asked, though - I'll take platinum.  An ex boyfriend bought me a (yellow) gold necklace/earrings set.  Very pretty - not my style at all.  When I mentioned that I wasn't a huge fan of yellow gold, his response was "you never wear it, that's why I got you this, so you'd have some to wear"... Um.  D'OH... I don't wear it because I DON'T LIKE IT...  We broke up.  I returned it.  I got white gold and diamond necklace.  Looks like this:
 Much nicer.  More my style.  And worth a pretty penny.  Thanks T!

8) When you're on the phone, do you usually make the first move toward ending the call? Or do you find it hard to say goodbye?
I find usually when I flush people are ready to hang up.  LOL

9) Would you rather be smarter, richer, or more attractive than you are right now?
Duh, richer.  I could afford people to know shit for me (but I will say, I'm pretty smucking fart all on my own), and more attractive?  When I'm rich, I can afford plastic surgery.  First up?  Tummy tuck!  

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Just let me shit my pants and crawl home please..

Saturday 9: You're So Vain
1) Samantha Winters is very vain about her light blonde locks. What's your best feature?
OMG my boobs.  They are FABULOUS.  Totally serious.  You should see them.

2) Carly Simon is the daughter of a wealthy family (Simon & Shuster Publishing). How would your life today be different if you knew there was a large sum of inherited money in your future?
There would be a house/cottage on Martha's Vineyard that belonged to me.  And I would be in law school.  :)

3) October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Carly is a proud breast cancer survivor. Has breast cancer -- or cancer of any type -- touched you, your family or your circle of friends?
Are you serious?  Shirley?  Seriously?  Let me make a list.
Aunt Maggie - breast cancer.
My mother - colon cancer
My uncle Richie - brain cancer
My grandmother - cancer - so much that we didn't know what the primary was
And that's just my mother's side of the family.  Shall I go on? 

4) Carly has been known to perform with her sister, Lucy, and their oldest sister Joanna is a mezzo-soprano. Is your family musical?
My father sings.  As for the rest of them?  Pffft.  They can't sing with their heads up their asses.  Oh.  Wait.  Too soon?

5) Carly suffers from stage fright, a liability in her profession. When was the last time fear got the better of you?
I hate standing in front of people and talking.  I know, right?  Me?  If it's in a casual setting, I'm fine - I'll hold court any time.  But in a professional setting?  Just let me shit my pants and crawl home please..

6) Do you wear hats?
No, they look dumb on me

7) Autumn is known as "sweater weather." Is there a chill in the air where you are today?
It's 56 outside.  That, to me, is perfect.  Great "hot flash" weather.  And anybody need sweaters?  I can't wear them any more.  No.  Seriously.  If you have been through menopause, you know what I'm talking about.  You have to dress in layers.  Sweaters can't come off fast enough.  LOL

8) Do you drink bottled water?
Yes, my tap water tastes like crap.

9) What color is your toothbrush?
Pink, I think?  Or maybe purple.  I don't pay that much attention to it..

if The Walking Dead ends up with a shitty ending, I am going to give up on TV forever

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard of the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we also have our rules. First, we always credit the blog that we stole it from and we will “fess up” to the blog owner where we stole the meme. We also provide a link to the victim's post. (It's our way of saying "Thanks!") We do sometimes edit the original meme, usually to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, sometimes to select that meme's best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from either this new meme or recently asked questions from a prior featured meme. 
Let's go!!!

From The Real Mrs. Kelley at Whipped Cream & Lollipops

Movies/Television Meme

  1. Name your favorite movie actor:   Hmmm.. .Not sure.  I love Sean Connery, so probably him?  Geez.  I don't go to movies so.. .Oh wait.  Magic Mike.  Yeah.  He was nice to look at....
  2. Name your favorite movie actress:   I really like Julia Roberts, and when I was younger and had curly hair, I was told I looked like Meg Ryan.  I never saw it though.. 
  3. Name your favorite tv actor:   Too many to pick one.  And really, I don't like them for their acting skills, I go for the beefcake these days..
  4. Name your favorite tv actress:   I really like the women actresses on The Walking Dead.  And Orphan Black - that one chick plays like 10.  She's freaking amazing.
  5. Name your favorite television show right now: The Walking Dead.  Hands Down.
  6. Name a few really cool movies you’ve recently seen: None.  I very rarely go to the movies.
  7. Your favorite canceled television show:  LOST.  I'm still that show's bitch.  Hated the ending, and if The Walking Dead ends up with a shitty ending, I am going to give up on TV forever. 
  8. Name one movie you wish you hadn’t wasted time/money on recently: Lincoln.  Couldn't get into it.
  9. You would never watch a movie with:  People I don't like? 
  10. Favorite candy/food to watch movies with:   Popcorn and M&M's.  Together.  And Lemonade.  the whole sweet/salty thing is delightful.  And lemonade makes the popcorn dissolve in your mouth.  Yummy. 
  11. Three favorite tv channels:  That's like making you choose your favorite child.  I can't do that.
  12. Favorite reality or competition show:  Loved the Amazing Race last year, because one of the hockey brothers used to play for our local team.  I'm always a fan of Survivor.  Loved that Cochrane won last year. 
  13. Cable or satellite?   Satellite.  Cable is the antichrist.
  14. Do you watch more movies at home or at the theater?  At home.
  15. Is there a time of year that you watch more tv?  Yeah winter, when I'm hibernating and putting on my winter weight.  Shit.  Do I have to put on winter weight?  I really want to lose it, not gain it.