Thursday, September 27, 2012


My day so far?

Filled tray #1 of the copy machine.  Tray #2 was still full from yesterday's checking.

Put faxes in appropriate mail slots.

Dropped off mail to mail baskets.

Made coffee.

Drank coffee.

Checked email.

Checked Facebook.  Numerous times. 

Won a baby for the day on Saturday (SCORE!!)

Made a call to son's insurance company - told them what for.

Answered a call.  Wrong number.

Oh.  Ate breakfast.

Did I mention that I touched Bruce?  Did I?  Did I mention that it was his birthday when I touched him?  Just making sure.

I'm coming to a peace about having no further contact with some people in my family.  I emailed my stepmother about Thanksgiving and said "thanks, but no thanks"..  I feel bad because she's put in the middle of all this - but I just have to make clean breaks all around.  I don't need the negativity and nastiness in my life, it's not how I am - and to expect more from people that I really have never been that close with, well, that's life, I guess.   Family isn't always who you're related to by blood.  If nothing else, I've learned that in the past year.

Maybe it was the weekend away, maybe it's just all coming around - but I'm feeling better about life in general.  Then again, maybe it's the Paxil finally kicking in.  LOL

Happy Day!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Random Tuesday musings...

Oh my what a whirlwind weekend..  Left the flats of the midwest for the swamps of Jersey, and had one of the best weekends I've had in a long time.  I guess I needed a little break :)

Was proposed to (granted, he admitted in the next sentence that he'd pissed himself - but to his credit - he was in line for the portapotty).  Met Gary US Bonds (who called me "love") and Willie Nile (who called me "babe") and touched my Holy Grail - Bruce.  Does life get any better?

Sent a final picture to my son's grandmother (or, more accurately, his sperm donor's mother).  I wanted to add "shame on you" for ignoring this kid, but it's her choice - not mine.  I just said that if she wanted to know him, I'd do anything I could to facilitate it - but basically it was "your move".  I've been sending her pictures for years, and she's never responded - and I asked her if she didn't want them to return them, and she hasn't done that either. 

Saw such an inspiring gathering of people to honor one of my Bruce Buddies.  We really know how to "Take Care of Our Own"...  A huge tailgate in honor of Rich, that died in the line of duty back in April.  He was NYFD, and left behind a wife and two kids.  There were t-shirts, coozies, bracelets, lots of food, drink and peeps from all over the world - gathered for him, and to support his wife and daughter that were there.  All the money raised went to Maryanne - AKA the "frying pan" as Rich used to call her.   Another friend was able to pull some strings and got them backstage passes - as Bruce wanted to meet them.  HE requested to meet THEM.  how freaking cool is that?  They made Pat Reilly wait to go see him and let Maryanne and Kathryn go first.  :)  She said he'd just showered, and smelled like lemongrass, and had onion breath.  LOL   

Supporting each other in times of need.  I'm not sure life gets much better than that.

Happy Tuesday. 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Friday! Friday! Friday!


I'm off for the weekend in less than an hour.  Off to New Jersey (or, as we said growing up "Joizey")...

I'm flying into Newark and then hot-footing it over to the Meadowlands, now known as Met Life Center (?)  and getting into the G.A. line for Bruce.  That's right.  Brooooooooooooooooooooooooce. Say it with me.  Broooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooce!!!

Nice job.  :)

And then Saturday, I get to get up and do it all over again!  Ahhhhhhh  I haven't seen them since Danny's last show in Boston, so I think I'm due.  And no, I'm not bringing the boy.  So it's a Moms weekend away. 

cheer with me.  just a little.  :-)

Have a great weekend all!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Online Dating...

So.  It's been a while.  I thought I'd put myself out there.  You know.  And God knows I don't get out much.

I tried, but wasn't really impressed.  More on that later. 

My friend Julie has had wonderful luck with  Someone else I know tried it and it worked out wonderfully for her, too.  So I think to myself, self - let's give this a try.

So I post a profile.  With a few pictures that I think are good ones (I hate - absolutely hate having my picture taken)..  And it asks body type.  And really, I have a few pounds to lose - so I put "a few extra pounds".  Seems right.  And I publish the profile.  My friend Tracey and I peruse the local singles, and I favorite a few - they look like decent guys, have a good sense of humor, all that. 


Now it gets interesting

I think I've gotten lots of interest.  But none from any of the guys that I favorited.  Apparently putting "a few extra pounds" invites the "I've got a bum in the front" guys to think that I'm they're type.  I'm certainly not going to judge anyone for a few extra pounds, because, like I said - I could stand to lose some.  But really?  REALLY?  It's like Jabba the Hut is out there and looking for me. 

There was one guy that Tracey and I looked at that I immediately switched away from.  Bald on top, long on the sides.  Bright yellow shirt. 

Who do I get a message from?  Him.

Let's call him Bob for the sake of having a name.  Bob sends me a message, saying he'd like to get to know me, and that he used to work but now he's retired.... yada yada yada...

Oh.  And that he's only got one leg.

I politely declined his offer of meeting up.  Maybe today will be the day that someone that doesn't resemble Jabba, a Hobbit or a one legged bandit will want to talk to me.  It's better than - the man that dressed in "US Flagwear" and had professional pictures taken of him in it with his dog (service dog - he was blind) wanted to meet for coffee.

And I ask.  Is it ME? 

Maybe I'll try E-Harmony..........


Friday, September 14, 2012

Enough of that being nice shit....

I had applied for a job where they would do a pretty thorough background check, and rather than take any chances, I reverted many posts to draft.

I checked - the job was cancelled.

They're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!


Well, it feels like Saturday, does that count?

Saturday 9: Life is a Lemon And I Want My Money Back - click here to play along - and yeah, I'm early.  So shoot me. 

1. When was the last time that you asked for your money back?I don't know that I've ever asked for money back.  No wait.  Yes I did.  From your mom.  I wasn't interested.

2. What was the last thing that you did to help someone?
I helped a woman at work out by lending her $30.  I'm not even sure of her name, but to me it was just $30.  For her, it could have been dinner for her kids. 

3. At what point of your life do you think you started to understand who you are?
I'm still trying to figure that out.  I do know what I'm not though, and that's someone that will put up with any bullshit from anyone.  Yeah.  (Said with conviction)...

4. Are there times when you thought you had taken a fall, only to discover more about yourself?
When my ex and I broke up, I realized a lot about myself, him and my kid.  He sucks, we don't.  :)

5. What was the last thing you did where you could not believe in what you were doing?I jumped off the Jaws Bridge on Martha's Vineyard.  Seriously.  I.  Jumped off a bridge.  What was I, freaking nuts?  And I did it more than once.  It probably didn't help that by the time I did it, everyone on the bridge and the beach knew my name.  LOL

6. Do you think that you must struggle to become strong?
Hells no.  I'm a mother.  We're built Ford tough.  Just fuck with my kid and see how strong I can be.

7. Do you feel that your dreams have meaning or are entirely random?
Jesus, I don't know.  I had one about my ex (aka baby daddy/putz) and his present girlfriend the other night.  She was pregnant, he was thin and very unhappy.  I'm sure that one of the three is true, you guess which.  LOL

8. What was the last promise you broke?
I try not to ever break promises - especially to the boy.  He's had enough disappointment in his life that he doesn't need any further from me. 

9. Do you collect anything?
I have a very cool collection of Starbucks mugs from most of the major cities I've been to.  They're big (18 oz) and neat to look at.  L.A.'s handle broke, though - so I need to go back.  :)

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Better late than never... right?

1. When was the most recent time that you felt that you were the last to know something important? 
 I found out that my brother had Lou Gehrig disease almost a year after he'd been diagnosed.  If that isn't an example of a dysfunctional family, I don't know what is.

2. Have you ever had a good thing in your life that never ended? 
My sense of humor.  I hope I never lose it.  

3. Do you have any nasty habits?
I smoke.  I stopped for 6 months, and just recently started up again.  Probably has to do with the whole "cutting my family out of my life because they treat me like shit" stuff.... 

4. What is something that you still do that you thought you' outgrow?
I still, on occasion, like a bowl of Captain Crunch Berries.  LOL

5. Have you lost any of your dreams as time went by?
This is the question that prompted me to answer this a week later...
I always wanted a house full of kids - and to be married.  Here I find myself almost 47, still single, and with one kid.  Granted, we've been able to do a lot of stuff because it's just the two of us - but I didn't plan things this way.  I thought I would be with his father (thank GOD I'm not) or someone that I loved, and as time goes by, I'm thinking that it will never happen.  Another one is that I wanted to go to law school.  I wanted to be someone that could help others, and fight for the underdog.  Instead, I'm working at a job way below my skill level - stuck because the pay is so good - and the dream of law school is just a distant memory.  I can't take on $100K in debt, only to end up working at Starbucks.  Which is a stretch, but the market is so flooded with attorneys it just wouldn't be worth it.  Sigh... 

6. As you've grown older, what ways are you still act and think the way you did as when you were younger?
Don't judge.  I like to sing in public.  And play pranks.. :)

7. Is there a person in your life who still treats you as the same person your were when younger? Do you like it?
I have a few friends from elementary school still in my life, and it's like no time has passed.  I love it.
8. Have you let yourself go wild in any aspect of your life?
I guess in one aspect - I stopped giving a shit what people think about me.  And it's been very liberating.  :)

9. How do (or did) you parents feel about what you do for a living?
My mother died 15 years ago in November.  She was proud of me for being a single parent and working on bettering myself.    My father?  I'm not sure he even knows what I do for a living, he is just clueless sometimes.  He keeps telling me I should pursue my calligraphy - which I haven't done in like 20 years.  Never says a word about my photography, which is something that I love. 

Lions and Tigers and Bears... oh my!

Saturday 9: Do You Want to Dance Click here! to play along :)


1. When was the last time that you danced in public?
like happy dance - danced, or full on tango danced?  You must be more specific...

2. Tell us about one of your closest friends.
My friend Kim (we met on the internet) is my BFF, she's smart, stronger than she gives herself credit for, and kicked cancer's ass.  Oh, and a great cook.  Really, what more could someone look for in a BFF?  And she tells me when I'm being dumb - that's true friendship..
3. What is the most that you have ever lost?
I lost about 250 lbs when I broke up with my last boyfriend, does that count?
4. What was the last thing that you have done to help a neighbor?
sigh...... I'll be helping one of my favorite neighbors and good friends to pack up her house today.  And then I'm going to kick the "For Sale" sign when it goes up.  Twice.  
5. It’s election season. What do you think the priorities of the United States really should be?
Making sure our kids have a stable economy to grow up in.  That we don't lose the middle class.  
6. What was the last severe weather situation that you and your neighbors endured?
I live in the midwest.  We have tornado warnings.  Once, it was scary.   Or maybe more than once.  I'll admit to going to the basement. 
7. Have you been or are you a vegetarian? Thoughts?
aw hells no - I love me a good slab of meat.  Cooked, of course.  But meat.  Mmmmmmmmmm maybe I'll make some steak for dinner.
8. If you had a wish for your future, what would it be?
I'd like to know the winning numbers of Powerball and Mega Millions, please.  
9. Who just doesn’t get it?
Seriously?  Oh, the list is endless....  But king butthead?  My son's father.  He'll never get it that being mad at me and taking it out on the boy is dumb.  And makes him be even more of a jerk than I ever thought he could be. 
Thanks so much for joining us again at Saturday: 9. As always, feel free to come back, see who has participated and comment on their posts. In fact sometimes, if you want to read & comment on everyone's responses, you might want to check back again tomorrow. But it is not a rule. We haven’t any rules here. Join us on next Saturday for another version of Saturday: 9, "Just A Silly Meme on a Saturday!" Enjoy your weekend! (255: chels)