Life....

"If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And if the answer has been "no" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Your time is limited, don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importan, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition... Everything else is secondary..." Steve Jobs.

My answer has been "no" for way too many days.

I'm at a crossroads and aren't sure which way to turn..

But I know things have to change.

8 years ago, I moved to give my son more "Mom" time - and it was all about him.  I wouldn't take that back for the world, nor any of the experiences we've had.  Now it might be time to be all about family.   My son barely knows his cousins, aunts or uncles. He sees his grandfather once a year.   He's got a funny midwestern accent.  Do I move closer to "home"?  I don't want to work back in the city again.  I kind of like living among the cornfields (no Malachai jokes, please LOL).. 

I'm waiting for the bank to get back to me on modifying my mortgage.  They upped my payment by $250/mo last year because they figured the escrow wrong.  I've been late ever since.  I'm 2 months behind - because they told me that they really won't work with anyone that's current - they have to be 2 or more months behind - so I've paid my other bills and paid the mortgage last.  If they don't work with me, I still can't afford the increase.  Do I walk away from it?  My credit is screwed up as it is - would a foreclosure or deed-in-lieu make it that much worse?  After all - in this economy foreclosures are more common than purchases these days..

I have a great job.  One that many people would be so grateful for.  I get paid good money.  I work with great people.  But I am bored.  OUT.  OF.  MY.  MIND.  (If this is any indication - I'm typing this at work - because I have nothing to do)...  Do I look for another one?  But where?  Here?  Or "home"?   And if I go "home"?  Where will I live?  Can I get a place to live?  Can I get a job with no place to live?  Or do I start looking at schools first? 

See?  I'm all discombombulated...