Sunday, December 14, 2014

The one where cropdusting was an answer....

Have You Ever?

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard of the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we try to credit the blog that we stole it from. We also provide a link to the victim's meme in our "Previous Victims" widget. (It's our way of saying "Thanks!") Sometimes we edit the original meme, to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, to select the best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from this new meme or recently asked questions from a previously featured meme. 
Cheers to all of us thieves!!! 

The Have You Ever Meme 
Stolen from: From My Random Randomness
1) Have you ever gotten lost in a maze?
I did my first corn maze last year.  I would think that since I'm typing this, I got out.  I didn't call 911 like those morons in MA a couple of years ago. 

2) Have you ever been attacked by a wild animal? 

Have you ever met my ex?  He was pretty hairy.  And, on occasion - and what you are about to read is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth - he would hump my leg.  Yes.  Apparently, in his mind that was equal to "hey, wanna have sex".  And he wondered why I wouldn't jump into bed with him.  Ugh.  Jesus.  Even the thought of it makes me feel gross.  There's a reason he's an ex.  So - hint to any guys reading here?  Don't ever hump a woman's leg.  It's nasty.  And it doesn't work.  

3) Have you ever ridden a camel?
See my answer to #2

4) Have you ever pet a rat? No!  What is this, the "Michael Jackson" show or something?  Ew.  Ew.  Ew.  Pet rats.  WTF.  Rats are NOT PETS. 

5) Have you ever been a member of a gym? 

Um, yeah.  

6) Have you ever been in a helicopter? 

Nope - this is one of my bucket list items.  It's up there, too .. :)

7) Have you ever cheated at a test? 

And I would answer this why?  Actually - I don't think I have.  In college we were allowed to do open book tests, so there really wasn't any reason to cheat.   And really, if you need to cheat?  You shouldn't be in the class.

8) Have you ever ridden a tractor? 

Now that I think of it, I don't think so!

9) Have you ever passed wind/gas in an embarrassing situation? 

Have you ever met me???  Although, there was that one time that I was in the store, and crop dusted.  It wasn't my fault.  I swear.  And I moved out of that aisle REAL quick.  LOLOLOLOL

10) Have you ever played the bongos?
Oh, I'm sure

11) Have you ever handled a snake? 

HELL NO.  WTF?  Is this Jack Hanna's "lets fuck with everyone" hour or something?  

12) Have you ever assembled furniture by yourself? 

BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  That's funny.  I'm a single mom.  You guess.  
13) Have you ever been scuba diving?

No to scuba, yes to snorkeling.

14) Have you ever had a disastrous interview? 

I don't think so.  I work for the state, and they do a scoring system and it's behavioral based.  I've had a couple of interviews where they scored me 0 or 1 (on a 0-5, 5 being the highest) on the parts where I excel at.  I call that bullshit.  And I had walked out of the interview feeling pretty good about it, too.  Funny that it was the same interviewers both times, too.  Booger faces.  

15) Have you ever sold your services? 

Oh come on, why don't you just come out and ask it.  Have I ever had sex for money.  The answer is no.  

16) Have you ever raised money for charity? 

Can I consider myself a charity these days?  Cuz I'm pretty damn broke. 

17) Have you ever won a giant sized cuddly toy from a fair? 

Paco.  I mees my paco.  I got a junior version of him this week from my friend Julie, with a hysterical letter about his grandfather.  Freaking comedy, I tell ya!

18) Have you ever milked a cow? 

Why would I do that when I can buy the milk in the store?  Way easier.

19) Have you ever used the phrase "back in my time" to someone younger than you? 

Back in my day, we didn't have the inter-webbies.  We had to TALK to one another.  And call them on the phone.  And write letters.  Do you know that kids now have NO clue how to even address an envelope?  And they're not teaching cursive in school any more?  Who actually "writes" any more?  I "wrote" a letter to my father after my brother died - but did I actually write it?  No.  I typed it out.  Much easier to edit.  

20) Have you ever invented a fairly unique meal or drink?

When the boy was younger, he'd ask what was for dinner and my answer would be pterodactyl toenails, elephant snot, dinosaur dung - stuff like that.  I think that was pretty unique.  LOL


Kwizgiver said...

I wrote a letter to a friend recently and it felt so foreign! And it was cursive.

Jodi said...

I miss writing and receiving letters! Have a great Sunday!

CountryDew said...

I send out about 60 Christmas cards every year, but each year I receive fewer and fewer myself. Lost art.

jennifer anderson said...

you guys are right

zippiknits...sometimes said...

that snot sounds appetizing, if you are a kid. You have, of course, heard of the famous catbox cake?

You are such a nut! Fun to read here!

I am Harriet said...

Your ex sounds like a winner :)