Hateful stuff.....

So Erin did a post on it. I read, but didn't comment. I couldn't. Sprite's Keeper started it all with a Spin Cycle (that I really have yet to get into, probably because with some of the topics, I'm afraid of what might come out of me). This one being a prime example. I really am not a hater. I don't dislike many things, well except vegetables that look like trees, but I'm getting so much better than that. But hate? Not so much. Urban dictionary gives a great definition. Some of them work for me.

I have a couple of friends who have said to my face "I will never fuck with you - you've got such a dark side it's scary"... Really? Because I feel that injustices need to be corrected? Because I'm not afraid to point something out that I feel is wrong? Because I know when red flags are popping up that there is something rotten? Even at the expense of a relationship (that really wasn't that great to begin with, but it wasn't bad).
There are few people that I really, vehemently, fucking HATE. Mimi Gibson from HS - she hated me for reasons unknown, and was a sneaky bitch behind my back and told Jimmy Rinaldi (who I had a huge crush on) that if he went out with me, she'd never speak to him again. Bitch. I hated her for a long time. Now I just don't like her. I can only hope that karma bit her in the ass. And no, we never went out. But we were friends, which I think pissed her off. Why? I have NO clue. And really, who cares at this point. I just remember she was mean to me for no reason.
Another is Jocelyn. Also known as the "FFW". You may have read about her here, here, probably here, or even a little tidbit here.

Now as far as the fuckwit goes - he never knew any better, I don't care about him. She knew what she was doing from day one. And I caught on, and pointed it out and nobody believed me. Some do now, but it's a slow process. It's been over 2 years since the fuckwit and I broke up, over 3 since I caught on to her. She's been living rent-free for four. She moved her boyfriend (now husband) into the rent free house with her. I have a hard time believing that any kind of man would be OK with his wife (and subsequently himself) living off someone. But then again, he is only 25. Her kids are still the evil spawn. The middle one fell down last night right in front of me. I admit it - I giggled. He's the 175 lb one that gave my 60 lb. kid a hard time. I told the boy that he can rest assured that when he is a productive member of society to realize that Austin will most likely be in prison.

I saw her at the football game last night. Her husband was talking to my friend's husband and she (my friend) was trying to get her husband's attention. Apparently the FFW thought I was looking at her, whatever - so she's nudging her friends and saying shit about me, making them turn around and look. Really? I'd love to know what shit she's saying about me. I really would. And then I'd like to say "hey - paying rent yet?".... And then maybe ask if her husband really knows the truth about her past..

Because really? I still hate her. I think I always will. I will not be "OK" with everything until she's shown to be the con artist, welfare trailer-trash whore that she really is. I feel bad for the fuckwit at this point - because she's STILL using him - he goes out of town, she drives the Land Rover, stuff like that. I can only hope that she's learned to wash the sheets after she screws around in his bed (she didn't wash them before when he and I were still together - and got pissed when I called her on it. Really???) He's such an ass, he testified in court that she's his employee. Not sure what she does for him, but I think he still thinks he has a chance with her, and maybe that's his way of keeping her close. Paying her. That's actually sad. I think she's one of his only friends now. And he has to pay her.

So there's F you Friday. Spin cycle on hate. I wonder if seeing a hate therapist would help. Would it make the hate go away? Would it make me not want to shout out how much of a nasty skanky whore-bag I know she is every time I see her? But I won't. Because that would make me look like the crazy one. I have to continue to hold my head high, and know that I'm so much of a better person than she'll ever be. But I still fucking hate her. I hate what she did to my life - even if it would have happened anyway - she was the catalyst for it, and she knew. She knew what she was doing. I hate what she did to my child. She knew what she was doing to him - and then LAUGHED about it. I hate what she's done to the fuckwit - even if I don't care about him any more, it's still pathetic. She makes fun of him behind his back, but uses him for free rent, cars and money. I hate that she still lives near me. I hate that her kids are in the same school system. I hate that I give a shit. I hate that I have a hard time reconciling the fact that we may have mutual friends, and that she's still spouting lies about me. I hate the fact that she was my friend, and you don't do that to a friend. I hate the fact that if you look at the big picture, everything she has is because of me trying to help someone that I thought was a friend.

All over the place

I've been out of touch, it's been a crazy week so far - not in a good way, either.

I'm fighting with the school system to get my son special ed services. He's got ADHD with underlying depression, and is failing in all his classes. He has a hard time getting his homework organized and/or done, he's telling me he doesn't have any because he doesn't feel like doing it, the wind isn't blowing the right way - who the hell knows. In any case, he's failing everything and desperately needs help. I'm working on that. It doesn't help that he's had ski club one night until 8:30 (and unless he's in bed before 10 he is MISERABLE the next day) and I have class Tuesday until 10. Oy...

So that's issue #1.

Issue #2 - is that last night we're talking, and he tells me that he eats lunch by himself every day. Now I know he's a goofball, doesn't have many friends - this has concerned me. He goes from a kid that everyone loves to having no friends. Well, now he tells me that he sits in the back (or at least he was) by himself because the other kids make fun of him and (as he put it) use him as a "crash test dummy" to say stuff to (like calling him fag, faggot and other stuff that he wouldn't repeat) because he doesn't say anything back. He said occasionally he'll come back with something but it doesn't do any good - they always come back with something else. I'm like "WHA...."????!!! WTF?!? And what the HELL do I do about that? If he's telling the truth?!?

And if he is telling the truth - THIS is how middle school is going for a kid that's failing and has an underlying depression problem?!?!? Holy shit!

I'm going to do a separate post about the rest....