Sunday, April 22, 2012

Just not feeling it today...

Usually I do the Friday, Saturday and Sunday meme's - they're fun.  Light hearted.  Easy to do.

I'm just not feeling it this weekend. 

Some of you know the family "drama" that has been going on - some of you don't.

My brother has Lou Gehrig's Disease.  Which sucks.  So we decided (us 4 siblings) to sell the cottage that our mother left us because he was the trustee and none of us could afford to buy everyone out.  We could all use the money, but none more than Ken and his wife with the upcoming renovations that their so desperately needed.  I offer a number of times to fly home and help clean out the cottage, but either nobody responds or I'm told it's not time to do that yet.   When I left the cottage after my week in August - I had no idea that it was going to be my last time there.  You see - my brother kept his diagnosis to himself for a year.   Came up with excuses why he wasn't going to be home for me to visit, didn't answer the phone - you get the picture, right?  So that in and of itself is another whole issue - keeping something like that from your family.  Whatever.
I got a phone call in February - asking me what I wanted from the cottage.  How much notice do I get?  about 10 min.  Because not only has there been an offer - they've negotiated a price, done a home inspection and all that.  No time for me to fly home.  No time for me to think.  Just "what do you want, we have to give them a list"..  I ask for one thing (that I've made clear to all that I wanted since November) - and I'm told that's been given to my sister.  Who, at this point, is ignoring my emails because I'm asking (SHOCKER) to be kept updated on what's going on.  For some reason - she felt me not worthy of updates, and I called her out on it.  Apparently - she doesn't like being called out on things she does wrong.  Anyway, it snowballs from there, I call bullshit and unfair - and now nobody in the family is talking to me.  I was planning on walking away from my house, job, everything - to move home and help - because that's what family does, right?  They help each other in their time of need?  Not mine.  Granted, we've helped each other out here and there - but really, we're not a family.  We're just people that are connected by blood.  Being in a wheelchair apparently gives my brother license to be an asshole.  That's right.  I said it.  The dying guy is being an asshole.    Shoot me.   My sister has been a douchebag of the nth degree.   Obviously there is a lot more - but I'm not typing it all.  Is some of it my fault?  Sure.  But keeping information away from someone that is entitled to it?  Not cool.  It took the threat of legal action to even get the attorney's name that is handling the dissolution of the trust. 

I find out through Facebook - FACEBOOK - that my father and stepmother are in Ireland for 2 1/2 weeks.  Seriously?  Are you fucking kidding me?  I hope someone has contact information for them, in case of an emergency.  Apparently, living in Michigan makes you no longer a part of the family that lives in New England. 

I choose my family from now on.  I choose the people that I care about.  Not genetics.  Not having the same parents.  

I'm staying where I am.  There are friends and members of my family that I love dearly and miss - but I'm not going to put my whole life through upheaval to move closer to people that treat me like shit. 

And yeah - I told them that. 


Mike said...

Lou Gehrig's disease is such an awful thing. Having to deal with other family drama on top of that just adds speed bumps to an already hellish road. My heart goes out to you and your family.

K Dubs said...

Thanks Otin.. it's just a shitty situation all around.

Anonymous said...

Do you need medication? Why are your mixing a terminal disease with family drama? You should be
supporting your family and helping each other out. Sounds like ur the one who's confused. Yea LGD sucks.
Thats all you can say about that? Clearly, we see where your true sympathies and interest lie. Poor girl.
That sucks!!

K Dubs said...

Actually, "anonymous" - I know who you are -
and really? Why don't you read some more, huh?

K Dubs said...

Anonymous/Peg - seriously? I wasn't mixing anything - I was planning on walking away from my house, my life, my job, my friends - everything - to move home so I could be closer and to help. I'm not the one that *started* the family drama - you did that all on your own. How about owning up to *YOUR* part in it all?

Anonymous said...

My name is Kristen. I have a brother who has a terminal illness. His thoughts are not with family drama. They are to stay alive more so he can see his family. You are creating an image for the entire family for the world to see. What is written cannot be unwritten. If I were you, I would take this opportunity to reach out to your family before you regret it. The entire world can read this. Kids can read this. Does ur brother have kids? All this drama about material things will pail in comparison to the damage and legacy you have created for yourself. Understand U are hurt but sometimes it is best to try and heal rather than spew more hurt. Just my 2 cents. Hope you find forgiveness before regret..

K Dubs said...

Kristin - if you are truly a stranger to me, you have no idea. I have reached out, more than once, and in more ways than one. Don't judge unless you know the whole story.

K Dubs said...

Also, Kristen - what exactly do I need to find forgiveness for? For calling something unfair - that was unfair? For speaking up instead of letting something that was wrong go by just because my brother has a terminal illness? I didn't realize that a terminal illness gave someone carte blanche to do whatever they wanted - regardless.

jennifer anderson said...

i feel you hon, what you are saying, i really do