Friday, January 16, 2009

F You Friday

We have Fill in Friday, Fun-filled Friday, happy fun time Friday and now.. for your reading pleasure..

FUCK YOU Friday!

Cristin has started a wonderful thing. So here goes.

Fuck you lurkers. I know you're out there. You think I don't see you, but I do.
Come on out and play, the water's fine - the air is a bit chilly, but don't let that stop you.

Fuck you, person driving the little car with the Florida license plate surrounded by "I'm a Navy Wife". You're not in Florida any more, you're in Michigan. Learn how to drive in the fucking snow - which is NOT by doing 25MPH on a major roadway that is DRY.

Fuck you, moron with the big SUV (there were many this week) that feels the need to ride my ass in the middle of a snow squall. First off - there is ICE under the snow, so if I have to stop fast, I'm not going to - which is why I'm at least 2 car lengths behind the guy in front of me. Then again - if you hit me, you'll probably total my car. So go ahead - I'll see Dr. Winteroff, Dr. Summeroff and Dr. I'llownyouyourhouseandeverythingelseyouvegot. Asshole.

Fuck you Frito Lay. Fuck you for making your "hint of jalapeno" Scoops that I can't control myself with. Why can't you make "tastes like shit" scoops? I wouldn't eat any of those.

Fuck you Jens. Again. Just because you're probably still a putz. And John M? you're probably still an asshole, too - so fuck you too.

Fuck you, stupid bitch on the phone who called me rude. I'm not the one that didn't pay my damn tickets so my license got suspended. I'm not the one that was rude - YOU were. Pay up or shut up.

Fuck you, 7th graders in the neighborhood that won't talk to my kid because he's a grade behind you. You're ugly and are going to grow up and get crabs from some trampy girl. So there.

And last but not least?

Fuck you, person that used to be my friend. You didn't deserve the friendship that I gave you, and when we run into each other - stop getting the deer in the headlights look and then say hi. Don't bother saying hi. You're not my friend. Don't even pretend to be nice. Fuck off. And fuck you again.


see. Now didn't that feel good?


cheatymoon said...

Amen, sister. Have a fab weekend.

K Dubs said...

Thanks :) you too!

Staci said...

alrighty then!! I laughed my ass off at the Florida person driving 25 on a dry highway...what nimrods!! In fact, you're entire post made me laugh and say ""Right ON!!!!!"

Loved it!

FYI: I did a scrapbook page all about the word "fuck" and how it is my absolute favorite swear word. It was very liberating :)

Cristin said...

Oh I have so many Fuck You's for bad drivers! And those nasty 7th graders... oh STDs for sure!