Sunday, November 24, 2013

Never.. EVER... fuck with the cranberry sauce..

Thanksgiving Meme

It's Thanksgiving in the States! Wishing everyone a lovely holiday! 
*Why thank you!  :)

This week's Thanksgiving Meme comes from the archives!  

1. What do you have for breakfast on Thanksgiving?

Usually a bowl of cereal or a bagel.  It's what I have every day.  What do you think, I don't eat anything for the days up to Thanksgiving just so I can eat more?  That's dumb.  It shrinks your stomach, and then you overeat on Thanksgiving shit - and then A. your belly blows up like an old dead dog's and B. You feel like shit until after you've pooped at least twice.  No way.  It's a regular day for me. 

2. Do you go to a Thanksgiving parade or watch one on TV?  

I might have a parade on while I'm doing whatever I'm doing.  I was actually in our holiday parade a couple of weeks ago.  And.... yeah.  It's too freaking cold.  I'm not sitting outside to watch that stuff.  Like the boy would come with me.  BAH!  When he was little we'd go.  Now?  Not so much..

3. Do you serve appetizers, lunch, or snacks during the day?  

Do you NOT know me?  Let's go on the premise that I'm cooking.  If I am?  It's all dip all the time. 

4. What are the traditional favorites?  

Turkey, stuffing (I make mine with apples, sausage and all sorts of fabulous shit.  I'm Betty freaking Crocker - you didn't know that?).. green bean casserole (with the french cut green beans - anything else is wrong) and cranberry sauce.  Out.  of.  the.  CAN.  
One year, my stepmother made dinner for everyone (well, she's done it more than once, but I'm just using this time as part of the story).  She made home made cranberry sauce.  And added orange jello.  And cloves.  And all sorts of other shit. 
Ever see Big?  When Tom Hanks wipes the caviar off his tongue after spitting it out?  Yeah.  That was me.  So for everyone's peace of mind?  Don't EVER.  EVER.  Fuck with the cranberry sauce. 

5. What new recipes will you try this year?

Certainly nothing in my cranberry sauce.  Although my mother used to make it, and it was good.  But she never added shit to it.  I'm not cooking this year. 

6. What part of the meal do you never compromise?  

Um.  See #4?  And in case I wasn't clear enough?  NEVER. 

7. Who gets to carve the turkey?

Whoever cooks it.  What is this, a contest?  Oh, wait.  Are we doing the traditional male/female roles here?  Oh hear Ward, you carve the turkey.  You take all the credit while poor June's been in the kitchen slaving over a hot stove all day.  And by the way?  You were a little hard on the Beaver last night.  You should apologize. 

8. Family style around the table or buffet style and everyone sits wherever there’s room?

Around the table.  It's one dinner that I make everyone sit family style.  And I try every year to get everyone to say something that they are thankful for.  The boy always says me, but it's with a smirk.  So I think he's full of shit..

9. How many will be at your table this year?

None.  We're having dinner at the Finn's.  They're family.  :)

10. Once you're at the table, do you say grace or a toast or does everyone go around and say what they're thankful for?

Hah!  Didn't I just talk about this?  We do something that's a fashion of all 3 mixed together. 

11. Cranberry sauce… yay or nay?

Don't.  EVER.  Fuck.  With.  The.  Cranberry.  Sauce.    Got it??

12. What time do you eat Thanksgiving Dinner?  

Usually 4-ish..

13. Three best pies for Thanksgiving dessert?  

Apple, pumpkin and pecan.  Any other silly questions?

14. Do you have dessert right after the main meal or later on?  

Have you not heard of tryptophan?   That shit makes you feel FULL.  And tired.  So we have a nap, poop, and then we're ready for dessert. 

15. Favorite leftover?

This one:

1 comment:

Stacy said...

I will never mess with the cranberry sauce. I swear. I don't even like the stuff. Dumped from a can is as good as it's going to get from me.

Oh, and that leftover sandwich looks amazing!